Random Thoughts

I swear every Sunday I feel worse and worse about going back to work. And I am getting to a point where I feel like the only way I am ever going to get out of that place is for it to close down or I drop dead. And I don't like feeling like I am stuck somewhere.

On Friday, our newest MA was leaving (at a time she designated herself) and I heard my FWA say something to her about seeing her the next day. And I thought son of a bitch, that means she was probably invited to the birthday party as well. But now I don't know if she actually wasn't invited though, or was and just didn't show up, because out of all of the photo albums that were posted yesterday on Facebook, she was not tagged in a single one. And if she was invited, then that defeats the theory that my family tried to convince me of- that my FWA was only invited because she has a baby, because this MA only has an adult son.

I don't know what in the hell Ms. Hail to the V's issue is with me, because I have never done a damn thing to her. And if she is still holding something against me because I came in with my nephew on the same day she brought her son in (when he was newborn) then she needs to sit the fuck down because 1) I wasn't working there then and therefore didn't even know who she was or that she had a baby and 2) like I knew she would come in with her son that same time. Sometimes she seems like she is cool with me and then she does some rude ass shit, like always leaving without saying a word (I think maybe once or twice she has actually said good-bye to me). She ignores me in the morning, so I always make the effort to say good-morning even though I really don't want to. I don't get it. I don't get why she would have a problem with me. I don't expect everyone to like me, but I don't appreciate being disliked for no damn reason. Or there is just the possibility she has no problem with me and is just a miserable bitch. But I doubt it.

And I am so sick and tired of every time something she didn't do being questioned, everyone runs to her defense and says she didn't have time to do it. It's always she didn't have time to do it. Oh, but she always has time to play on her phone or talk to my FWA for a half-hour + or play on Facebook or Groupon or print stuff out for her kid for school. Sure, okay.

The other day she got up and left without saying a word and I said to my FWA "did you ever feel like just turning to someone and asking them what the fuck is their problem with you?". She said she doesn't know why anyone would have a problem with me, since I am very quiet and mostly stick to myself, and she claims no one has ever said anything to her about me, but this is my FWA we're talking about. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her. After all, she is the same person who supposedly said that if my boss should be getting on anyone it should be me. Then again, this also came from our newest MA, who I am honestly starting to question if I can trust. Frankly I don't know who can I trust in there or anywhere anymore.

I have been so fucking miserable since Friday. My sister had people over on Friday night and I didn't even go because I felt so miserable. I feel depressed as hell and I don't even know why.

10:17AM: I just realized that minus tomorrow, Ms. Hail to the V is going to be in the office all week. Out-fucking-standing! Just what I want to see all week!