Random Thoughts

I need to start writing down on a calendar when I get into bad moods and try to find a pattern. There seems to be no relation to my menstrual cycle so I can't blame it on hormones.

I have been in a horrible mood the past few days. I don't want to talk to anyone and whenever I finally do, it generally turns into a fight of some sort. I am exhausted beyond belief. It just took me about 10 minutes to finally get up off the bed. I drink 2 cups of coffee every day in work and that usually gets me through the day, but right now, I am still ready to face plant the keyboard. I am colder than normal and my whole body is burning. This is exactly how I felt right before my last period, but I just got over it, so I doubt it is that. Every little thing is getting on my nerves. Every day I drive home from work, I want to hit the gas pedal and ram into someone because everyone is getting on my nerves. If I could ever just drive home one day and not have some old fart in front of me driving 10 miles under the speed limit, I would die of shock.

I never would floor it, of course, but it is oh so tempting.

People are getting on my nerves everywhere. I am tired of TV being more important than anything in the household. I am tired of no one at home listening to me. I am tired of small talk. I am tired of people asking me stupid questions. I am tired of being interrupted every time I talk. I am tired of hearing about my sister's wedding. I am tired of every single time talking to my mom only to have her look up and say "what" because she was too busy watching TV. Oh, sure, she can't hear anything I say (her words), but if I am in my bedroom cursing someone under my breath and she is in another room, then suddenly she can hear every fucking word I say.

I love my family, but there are so many days I really do not want to come home ever again.

I am tired of getting annoyed with my acquaintence in work because I honestly think she really does like me. But she is so damn annoying! Head against the wall repeatedly annoying. I am tired of hearing her whine everytime our boss gets mad at her for leaving early or whatever. She does leave early a lot! Why does she not see that?! And I am sick of her interrupting me every single time I am in the middle of talking. And I am sick of her butting into all of my conversations. Almost every single time I am in the middle of a conversation with someone, she has to come up and make some kind of immature comment like "hey talking about me" or "hey shouldn't you be working" or something incredibly irritating and yes, I know I am borderline psychotic, but I just want to scream BITCH NO ONE IS FUCKING TALKING TO YOU!

And I have to laugh at this. I've already discussed the cute guy that comes in every so often. She thinks he is cute too. But she has a boyfriend who she just wuvs oh so much. She also is insecure as shit and is always flying off the handle at things she thinks are flirting with her boyfriend. Yet she made a comment one day that if she had known the cute guy was going to be in, she would have worn something different. I just looked at her like, bitch are you for real? She knows I had a bit of a small thing for him and even though I more than likely wouldn't have pursued anything if he was single, I guarantee she would have done something if she was single. She puts me in the mind of someone who would do something like that. Just because she can.

I don't know what the hell my problem is. I am turning into a fucking raving maniac.