A few days before my FWA left for let's screw my coworkers because of my choices leave, the one who tells like it is but never does announced she was going to be leaving for another job. Her last day was this past Friday. This should be fun, two people being gone at the same time.
For the most part, I didn't really dislike her, but she could be very trying as a coworker. You were damned if you do, damned if you don't with her. If you didn't do something, she bitched. If you did something, she found something to bitch about it. Most of the time I fought with myself whether or not to do something, because I wasn't sure which was the correct thing to do. So the one upside is one less person to walk on eggshells around. Sometimes I wonder if lawyers or doctors are as demanding as some of my coworkers. Apparently when Ms. Hail to the V's stuff is being set up for her next workday, there are many exact specifications of how it's done. Seriously- you're medical assistants, get the fuck over yourselves.
(And yes, I am completely aware of the complete and utter hypocrisy in my complaint of being damned if you do, damned if you don't, because if anyone is like that, it's me. There is basically NEVER any pleasing me.)
However, there is a little bit of bright light at the end of the tunnel regarding being short workers- my FWA delivered yesterday, more than a week early.
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Monday, April 15, 2019
Scheisse!
I am not even sure I got 3 hours of sleep last night. One, it was Sunday night, so I was having my typical Sunday night insomnia. Two, it was about 500 degrees in my bedroom, and as I am someone who absolutely positively cannot sleep without something covering me, I was having an extremely difficult time trying to get comfortable without resorting to being uncovered.
But the cherry on top was my area being under an enhanced threat of severe weather pretty much all of yesterday and overnight. Numerous tornado watches popped up all day long, and I knew eventually we were probably going to get one, but it wasn't until sometime after 1AM that NJ was placed under a tornado watch. That made it even more difficult for me to try to fall asleep, plus I had this unrelenting anxiety that at some point my phone was going to start blaring at me with a tornado warning. Tornadoes terrify the ever loving fuck out of me on a normal basis, but a night tornado? Hell no. At some point, I drifted off after 2 but was woke up not much later at around 3:35AM by a rumble of thunder. And I immediately checked the SPC and seen that my area was under a tornado warning, set to expire at 3:45AM. Not long after that a fairly strong thunderstorm came through. A lot of rain, wind, and lightening, but thankfully no tornado or straight line winds or anything like that. I sat in the living room until the storm died down, then jumped on my bike for a half hour to burn off some of the anxiety, washed off quickly and tried to relax. I think maybe sometime around 6AM I drifted off again only to wake up about 45 minutes later.
Before I left for work, I peeked through Facebook and there were a lot of posts about people receiving loud alert messages about the tornado warning on their phones. I never received one. I've received alert messages in the past for flash flood warnings (many of which came when I was trying to fall alseep in bed, scared the ever loving shit out of me hearing that blaring), yet many times when we've gotten tornado warnings, my mom's cellphone alerted her, but mine didn't despite the fact that we share a plan and I have my phone set to receive all emergency alerts, so it's not the first time it's happened. I just find it funny because I was so anxious about receiving one yet I didn't receive one. Although I guess that's not entirely a bad thing, because hearing that ungodly noise in such a state of heightened anxiety probably would have caused me to have a stroke.
But the cherry on top was my area being under an enhanced threat of severe weather pretty much all of yesterday and overnight. Numerous tornado watches popped up all day long, and I knew eventually we were probably going to get one, but it wasn't until sometime after 1AM that NJ was placed under a tornado watch. That made it even more difficult for me to try to fall asleep, plus I had this unrelenting anxiety that at some point my phone was going to start blaring at me with a tornado warning. Tornadoes terrify the ever loving fuck out of me on a normal basis, but a night tornado? Hell no. At some point, I drifted off after 2 but was woke up not much later at around 3:35AM by a rumble of thunder. And I immediately checked the SPC and seen that my area was under a tornado warning, set to expire at 3:45AM. Not long after that a fairly strong thunderstorm came through. A lot of rain, wind, and lightening, but thankfully no tornado or straight line winds or anything like that. I sat in the living room until the storm died down, then jumped on my bike for a half hour to burn off some of the anxiety, washed off quickly and tried to relax. I think maybe sometime around 6AM I drifted off again only to wake up about 45 minutes later.
Before I left for work, I peeked through Facebook and there were a lot of posts about people receiving loud alert messages about the tornado warning on their phones. I never received one. I've received alert messages in the past for flash flood warnings (many of which came when I was trying to fall alseep in bed, scared the ever loving shit out of me hearing that blaring), yet many times when we've gotten tornado warnings, my mom's cellphone alerted her, but mine didn't despite the fact that we share a plan and I have my phone set to receive all emergency alerts, so it's not the first time it's happened. I just find it funny because I was so anxious about receiving one yet I didn't receive one. Although I guess that's not entirely a bad thing, because hearing that ungodly noise in such a state of heightened anxiety probably would have caused me to have a stroke.
Saturday, April 6, 2019
I Can Not
I know there are a lot of stupid people in society, but I have never in my life knew that there were people so incapable of common sense like the people I work with.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the laxity of the place to a degree, but my God a line has to be drawn somewhere. We've already been through how much my FWA gets away with. The miserable old bitch, whenever she isn't doing her normal job of integration, shreds charts, a job that is basically an absolute last resort of last things to do. She's been trained to do other things, but does my manager ever force her to do anything else? No, no she does not. She allows her to just do whatever the fuck she wants when she doesn't have integration work, with the exception of pulling out a book and reading, which hand to God she has actually tried to get away with doing.
Our most senior worker, while a good worker, I'm fucking sick and tired of the special privileges and hearing the bullshit of her age, the fact that she's been there 25 years, etc. Guess what? Nobody is forcing her to work. She CHOOSES to still work.
And then this is what really has me ready to blow my cork. We have had months- fucking MONTHS- and plenty of downtime for people to cross train before my FWA goes out on maternity leave. Did anybody? No, no they did not. Did anyone offer? No, no they did not. Now she's going to be going out in less than 2 weeks for 24 fucking weeks. I cannot for the life of me understand why she is going to be out for so long, except that she's a histrionic little cunt.
Then I get an email the other day that my manager wants me to take over something my FWA does while she's out on maternity leave. Sure, because I'm not going to be fucking frazzled as is! Don't get me wrong, I like learning new things and having variety but I don't understand why someone else can't learn to do it. Apparently the miserable old bitch and our most senior worker, they're both just ever exempt from ever learning anything new. And the one who talks a lot is never taught anything new because she's so damn stupid (I'm not kidding, that is really why she isn't taught anything new).
Oh, and I'm sure our most senior worker will be exempt from ever being asked to do overtime when needed while the bitch is out. Probably no one else will be, with the exception of yours truly and our one at-home worker who is usually pretty good about doing it. It'll be so nice watching everyone get to skip out early because my manager is too incompetent to plan better for this.
I don't mind picking up the slack if someone is out for a medical reason, but picking up the slack because of someone's CHOICE? Fuck that. Frankly I think people who choose to not or can't have kids should be granted a maternity-like leave so those who screw their companies with their maternity, paternity, whatever the fuck CHOICE leaves can get it stuck up the ass for once.
And yes, while I like extra money, it's hard to think of doing overtime when you're barely making it through the 8 hours a day you're already doing. Struggling enough that not even halfway into your shift you're wishing you had a gun so you could go into the bathroom and blow your brains out, or you're entertaining the idea of walking out of the building and running into the major highway behind your complex. It's starting to get deeply concerning just how bad my depression is getting.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the laxity of the place to a degree, but my God a line has to be drawn somewhere. We've already been through how much my FWA gets away with. The miserable old bitch, whenever she isn't doing her normal job of integration, shreds charts, a job that is basically an absolute last resort of last things to do. She's been trained to do other things, but does my manager ever force her to do anything else? No, no she does not. She allows her to just do whatever the fuck she wants when she doesn't have integration work, with the exception of pulling out a book and reading, which hand to God she has actually tried to get away with doing.
Our most senior worker, while a good worker, I'm fucking sick and tired of the special privileges and hearing the bullshit of her age, the fact that she's been there 25 years, etc. Guess what? Nobody is forcing her to work. She CHOOSES to still work.
And then this is what really has me ready to blow my cork. We have had months- fucking MONTHS- and plenty of downtime for people to cross train before my FWA goes out on maternity leave. Did anybody? No, no they did not. Did anyone offer? No, no they did not. Now she's going to be going out in less than 2 weeks for 24 fucking weeks. I cannot for the life of me understand why she is going to be out for so long, except that she's a histrionic little cunt.
Then I get an email the other day that my manager wants me to take over something my FWA does while she's out on maternity leave. Sure, because I'm not going to be fucking frazzled as is! Don't get me wrong, I like learning new things and having variety but I don't understand why someone else can't learn to do it. Apparently the miserable old bitch and our most senior worker, they're both just ever exempt from ever learning anything new. And the one who talks a lot is never taught anything new because she's so damn stupid (I'm not kidding, that is really why she isn't taught anything new).
Oh, and I'm sure our most senior worker will be exempt from ever being asked to do overtime when needed while the bitch is out. Probably no one else will be, with the exception of yours truly and our one at-home worker who is usually pretty good about doing it. It'll be so nice watching everyone get to skip out early because my manager is too incompetent to plan better for this.
I don't mind picking up the slack if someone is out for a medical reason, but picking up the slack because of someone's CHOICE? Fuck that. Frankly I think people who choose to not or can't have kids should be granted a maternity-like leave so those who screw their companies with their maternity, paternity, whatever the fuck CHOICE leaves can get it stuck up the ass for once.
And yes, while I like extra money, it's hard to think of doing overtime when you're barely making it through the 8 hours a day you're already doing. Struggling enough that not even halfway into your shift you're wishing you had a gun so you could go into the bathroom and blow your brains out, or you're entertaining the idea of walking out of the building and running into the major highway behind your complex. It's starting to get deeply concerning just how bad my depression is getting.
Monday, March 25, 2019
Random Thoughts
As I was driving zombified into work this morning, I had one of our newest radio stations on (the Breeze- love it) and as the announcer was talking (thumbs up to Val- miss hearing her and the rest of the Breakfast Club on 98.1), I heard it....the beginning sounds of "Father Figure". I hmm'd and haw'd whether to change it, but ended up listening to it because goddamn, no matter how spooked I am from that dream, it's still a damn good song. And made it through unharmed, e.g my head didn't explode, an asteroid didn't crash, the earth didn't split open or fall off its axis, etc. However, I still had this gnawing strange indescribable depressed feeling afterwards. WHAT IN THE HELL happened in that dream that has me so troubled? It's driving me crazy not knowing.
Friday, March 22, 2019
Random Thoughts
Have you ever had a dream that just haunts you to no end? Almost 2 weeks ago, I had a very bizarre dream, and to this day it's still bothering me. The strange thing is, I remember almost nothing about it, just that I was walking around inside some big theater-type place and George Michael's "Father Figure" was playing, yet for some reason, I have been haunted by it since. I love that song, but whatever it was about the dream that has me so disturbed has made me completely unable to listen to it.
Is developing an aversion to something because of a bad experience normal? I can walk into a room and forget why I came in, yet I can distinctly remember the drive to the crazy house on 1/13/06 and the fact that I was listening to the song "Valerie" by Steve Winwood. And to this day, I still can't listen to that day without those memories flooding my head. Or how I can't listen to Depeche Mode's Playing the Angel album without thinking of that time period as well. And forget even trying to listen to the Scorpions' "Send Me an Angel", another song I listened to a lot during that time period- the end result is usually a lot of tears and borderline panic attack. To this day, I will never understand why that time period and hospital stay traumatized me so bad. The hospital stay was basically a waste of my time, but overall it wasn't that terrible. So why I am still so affected by it?
Then again, it's not like I come from a family particularly known for letting shit go. And Lord knows I could probably win gold or platinum in that category. Not being able to let shit go is probably >95% of why I have mental illness.
Is developing an aversion to something because of a bad experience normal? I can walk into a room and forget why I came in, yet I can distinctly remember the drive to the crazy house on 1/13/06 and the fact that I was listening to the song "Valerie" by Steve Winwood. And to this day, I still can't listen to that day without those memories flooding my head. Or how I can't listen to Depeche Mode's Playing the Angel album without thinking of that time period as well. And forget even trying to listen to the Scorpions' "Send Me an Angel", another song I listened to a lot during that time period- the end result is usually a lot of tears and borderline panic attack. To this day, I will never understand why that time period and hospital stay traumatized me so bad. The hospital stay was basically a waste of my time, but overall it wasn't that terrible. So why I am still so affected by it?
Then again, it's not like I come from a family particularly known for letting shit go. And Lord knows I could probably win gold or platinum in that category. Not being able to let shit go is probably >95% of why I have mental illness.
Saturday, March 9, 2019
The Bitch Is Back
Wow, I can't believe it's been over 2 years since I last graced everyone with my presence. I blame the Prozac. Since I started that shit, it's done nothing but take my ability to express my feelings (which I had issues with prior to starting Prozac) and just traps it inside me, leaving me with so much pent up miserableness that any day now I'm waiting for the mother of all breakdowns to come. And at the point I'm at, I'm not sure that's going to be such a terrible thing.
My FWA is pregnant again. And just as obnoxious as she was before. Everything is blamed on the pregnancy. Every time we walk by her or she walks by us, the hand has to start rubbing her belly. Bitching about this, bitching about that. And I want to be excited about her going out on maternity leave soon. But I'm fucking freaking out. And then it doesn't help that we've had a higher number of reviewers lately so the workload has been kind of light (first holiday season I was able to leave normal time), and one of them resigned on Friday. So now I'm really freaking out. And really beating myself up that I can't handle doing such a simple job that apparently any idiot can be hired to do. Of course I don't doubt that having anxiety and OCD doesn't contribute to that. I can't NOT care about the quality of my work like everyone else apparently does.
I've always suspected I've had misophonia but lately it's been really bad. Again, I'm not sure if this is something Prozac is contributing to (it was never this bad until I started Prozac). Nearly every little noise gets on my nerves, practically to the point where I honest to God wish I would go deaf just because I can't fucking stand it anymore. And one of the things that really gets under my skin is hearing people collate in work. Everyone is obnoxiously loud with flicking through paper and the sound drives me fucking bonkers. I'm surprised I actually have any teeth left because I grind them so hard the whole day in work. I can't stand the sound so much and every time I hear it I want to put my hands over my ears and start screaming SHUT THE FUCK UP over and over and over again. The level of agitation I feel every time I hear it can be terrifying.
There are so many days anymore where I wish I would just get the guts to end it already.
On the plus side, after years of chickening out, I finally did it in November- I went through with LASIK! It cost me a pretty penny but with the exception of dry eye (which I had some issues with before), so far so good.
But let me tell you- laugh heartily anytime you hear commercials about $250 an eye LASIK. You must hardly be nearsighted to qualify for that.
My FWA is pregnant again. And just as obnoxious as she was before. Everything is blamed on the pregnancy. Every time we walk by her or she walks by us, the hand has to start rubbing her belly. Bitching about this, bitching about that. And I want to be excited about her going out on maternity leave soon. But I'm fucking freaking out. And then it doesn't help that we've had a higher number of reviewers lately so the workload has been kind of light (first holiday season I was able to leave normal time), and one of them resigned on Friday. So now I'm really freaking out. And really beating myself up that I can't handle doing such a simple job that apparently any idiot can be hired to do. Of course I don't doubt that having anxiety and OCD doesn't contribute to that. I can't NOT care about the quality of my work like everyone else apparently does.
I've always suspected I've had misophonia but lately it's been really bad. Again, I'm not sure if this is something Prozac is contributing to (it was never this bad until I started Prozac). Nearly every little noise gets on my nerves, practically to the point where I honest to God wish I would go deaf just because I can't fucking stand it anymore. And one of the things that really gets under my skin is hearing people collate in work. Everyone is obnoxiously loud with flicking through paper and the sound drives me fucking bonkers. I'm surprised I actually have any teeth left because I grind them so hard the whole day in work. I can't stand the sound so much and every time I hear it I want to put my hands over my ears and start screaming SHUT THE FUCK UP over and over and over again. The level of agitation I feel every time I hear it can be terrifying.
There are so many days anymore where I wish I would just get the guts to end it already.
On the plus side, after years of chickening out, I finally did it in November- I went through with LASIK! It cost me a pretty penny but with the exception of dry eye (which I had some issues with before), so far so good.
But let me tell you- laugh heartily anytime you hear commercials about $250 an eye LASIK. You must hardly be nearsighted to qualify for that.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Random Thoughts
Sundays always get me fired up, especially to complain about work.
I try to be accepting of other people when they vote for the opposite party as me, but this election has made it very hard, if not next to impossible. I really and truly do not understand the mindset of Trump supporters, how anyone can possible like that horrible arrogant pompous buffoon.
I only knew of two people in work who I was almost definite were voting for the asshole (our most senior employee and totally not surprisingly the miserable old troll). I knew the one who talks a lot was voting for Hilary, the rest of the office I don't know. And not surprisingly my FWA didn't vote at all. But apparently the one who claims to tell it like it is must have voted for him. Which shouldn't really surprise me either, considering she's a pompous buffoon who puts herself so high up on a pedestal she must get constant nosebleeds and her husband is a creepy-looking pompous buffoon who is "nothing but a lazy Jew" (her words, not mine- hence the quotes). He's also a cop and apparently a lot of them endorsed Trump, I'm guessing. And it's probably evil to say, even for me, but he looks like one of those cops who shoots someone for solely being a minority.
Anyway, she was talking about the police unity tour thing her husband does every year and the conversation was nice and neutral (although irritatingly loud considering she can never talk at any volume lower than about 90 decibels). Then all of a sudden it turned into the tour should go fine as long as the marching and protesting are over by then. Then the miserable old troll had to voice her opinion on that. And then the former mentions that Trump is supposed to come to the tour and then has to point how Obama never, EVER offered to come to it. And the MOT goes "oh of course!" and then makes some comment about how he never even addressed all of the police shootings. And funny thing is, the former said one day a while back that her son wanted to vote for Trump and she hollered at him, asking him if he was stupid, so I don't know where the sudden change of heart came from.
But oh god forbid, Obama never offered to come! I wasn't aware that she was with him every moment of the day to know that! Maybe he did! Maybe he didn't even know about it! I certainly never heard of it until I started working there. Or maybe he just wasn't the narcissistic jackass that Trump is with a mission to constantly make himself look good. And have any other presidents ever offered to come? I kept my mouth shut during the whole conversation, because I do not think politics belong in the workplace, but wish I would have though to ask that.
One day the one who talks a lot was being extra talkative and it was really getting under my skin and I mentioned something to my FWA about it. And the conversation was going semi-okay, but in the grand tradition of things, it couldn't go without her turning it around to herself. She says she doesn't even want to imagine how much she'll get on her nerves when she gets pregnant again, because everyone got on her nerves when she was pregnant (welcome to our world, sweetheart!). Oh, and she and her boyfriend are trying for another baby. I felt like holding my hand up and saying stop right there sweetheart, let's get a few things straight here- one, this has absolutely nothing to do with what we are talking about; two I know how babies are made and I don't need to know that your nasty ass and your boyfriend's fat nasty ass are having sex; three, please don't have anymore kids; and four, frankly I don't care.
It's sad when you have to go to bed every night hoping you'll have a heart attack or stroke just so you don't have to go back to your workplace. Why I ever thought working in a small office was a good idea, I have no idea.
I try to be accepting of other people when they vote for the opposite party as me, but this election has made it very hard, if not next to impossible. I really and truly do not understand the mindset of Trump supporters, how anyone can possible like that horrible arrogant pompous buffoon.
I only knew of two people in work who I was almost definite were voting for the asshole (our most senior employee and totally not surprisingly the miserable old troll). I knew the one who talks a lot was voting for Hilary, the rest of the office I don't know. And not surprisingly my FWA didn't vote at all. But apparently the one who claims to tell it like it is must have voted for him. Which shouldn't really surprise me either, considering she's a pompous buffoon who puts herself so high up on a pedestal she must get constant nosebleeds and her husband is a creepy-looking pompous buffoon who is "nothing but a lazy Jew" (her words, not mine- hence the quotes). He's also a cop and apparently a lot of them endorsed Trump, I'm guessing. And it's probably evil to say, even for me, but he looks like one of those cops who shoots someone for solely being a minority.
Anyway, she was talking about the police unity tour thing her husband does every year and the conversation was nice and neutral (although irritatingly loud considering she can never talk at any volume lower than about 90 decibels). Then all of a sudden it turned into the tour should go fine as long as the marching and protesting are over by then. Then the miserable old troll had to voice her opinion on that. And then the former mentions that Trump is supposed to come to the tour and then has to point how Obama never, EVER offered to come to it. And the MOT goes "oh of course!" and then makes some comment about how he never even addressed all of the police shootings. And funny thing is, the former said one day a while back that her son wanted to vote for Trump and she hollered at him, asking him if he was stupid, so I don't know where the sudden change of heart came from.
But oh god forbid, Obama never offered to come! I wasn't aware that she was with him every moment of the day to know that! Maybe he did! Maybe he didn't even know about it! I certainly never heard of it until I started working there. Or maybe he just wasn't the narcissistic jackass that Trump is with a mission to constantly make himself look good. And have any other presidents ever offered to come? I kept my mouth shut during the whole conversation, because I do not think politics belong in the workplace, but wish I would have though to ask that.
One day the one who talks a lot was being extra talkative and it was really getting under my skin and I mentioned something to my FWA about it. And the conversation was going semi-okay, but in the grand tradition of things, it couldn't go without her turning it around to herself. She says she doesn't even want to imagine how much she'll get on her nerves when she gets pregnant again, because everyone got on her nerves when she was pregnant (welcome to our world, sweetheart!). Oh, and she and her boyfriend are trying for another baby. I felt like holding my hand up and saying stop right there sweetheart, let's get a few things straight here- one, this has absolutely nothing to do with what we are talking about; two I know how babies are made and I don't need to know that your nasty ass and your boyfriend's fat nasty ass are having sex; three, please don't have anymore kids; and four, frankly I don't care.
It's sad when you have to go to bed every night hoping you'll have a heart attack or stroke just so you don't have to go back to your workplace. Why I ever thought working in a small office was a good idea, I have no idea.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Random Thoughts
Wow, I'm really starting to slack anymore. Since I have last posted:
- I did end up having to attend the deposition. It was a huge waste of my time, although at least I was still paid. Judging by the questions I was asked, if this is what is being taught in law school, good God. The best part was when her attorney asked me what day of the week did the accident happen and I said a Friday. Kind of threw all of the attorneys in a tizzy. Apparently the accident report had the day before. I'm unsure of a lot of things but I'm 99.99% sure that ice storm happened on a Friday, even came home that day and pulled up weather archives, which said freezing rain happened on Friday January 10th. Now the date could have been an honest mistake on her part. But someone else wasn't doing their research and fact checking. I even went back to previous posts on here and sure enough, it definitely sounded like it happened on a Friday.
- The tooth behind my root canaled one was starting to really give me trouble a few weeks again. I ended up having to have another root canal. Yay me. I had it done at another office this time. Apparently my dental office doesn't refer to the other place anymore. Not sure why, but I'd certainly like to know. The dentist at first seemed hesitant on doing it because I suck so much at describing my symptoms but once he went in the tooth, he said oh I definitely would have needed it at some point. Pretty sure I heard him say I had irreversible pulpitis. And he confirmed the crack in my tooth. I was pretty annoyed though when he looked at my x-rays and said one of my canals in my first root canaled tooth wasn't fully filled and he wants to keep an eye on it. Why was it not done properly in the first place? It wasn't like some general dentist did it, an endodontist did it. It should have been done properly! And if there was an issue, then I should have been told about it, although for all I know, I very well could have been, but since I could barely understand a word she said, who knows?
And that's really been it. Not much has changed. A month later, I'm still feeling blue from the holidays, I still wish I'd get hit by a tractor trailer on the way to work. There are just no words to describe how much my coworkers get under my skin. And this manager needs a reality check. I don't how the fuck she's ever had managerial positions before, because she's a piss poor excuse for one. I can understand having good relations with your employees, but she is way too fucking chummy with people. Especially my FWA. Again- I really and truly don't understand how anyone tolerates my FWA. Even just sitting there doing nothing I want to punch her in the face.
It's weird- I feel so goddamn stupid all of the time and my job makes me feel really inadequate and yet I feel like I deserve better. I basically feel like I'm lowering myself and settling working in this office. There's no kind of incentive in that office. No promotions, no ladder, nothing. And despite how stupid I feel, I feel like I can, and should, make something much better of myself.
I've been following the Weather Channel off and on today, because even though it doesn't affect my area, I'm interested in following the severe weather coverage. All the years I've been reading the Storm Prediction Center, I think only two or three (give or take, I can't remember) times I've seen a high risk day. Especially in the winter months. And I know the last time I was on there, all three of the tornado watches that were in affect were PDS. Scary, scary shit.
And one more thing- after this weekend, I'm so proud of my gender, despite the fact that it's 2017 and we should not have to be marching demanding equality and rights. I also love how on Facebook every single time I see someone criticizing the women's marches, it's always a man.
- I did end up having to attend the deposition. It was a huge waste of my time, although at least I was still paid. Judging by the questions I was asked, if this is what is being taught in law school, good God. The best part was when her attorney asked me what day of the week did the accident happen and I said a Friday. Kind of threw all of the attorneys in a tizzy. Apparently the accident report had the day before. I'm unsure of a lot of things but I'm 99.99% sure that ice storm happened on a Friday, even came home that day and pulled up weather archives, which said freezing rain happened on Friday January 10th. Now the date could have been an honest mistake on her part. But someone else wasn't doing their research and fact checking. I even went back to previous posts on here and sure enough, it definitely sounded like it happened on a Friday.
- The tooth behind my root canaled one was starting to really give me trouble a few weeks again. I ended up having to have another root canal. Yay me. I had it done at another office this time. Apparently my dental office doesn't refer to the other place anymore. Not sure why, but I'd certainly like to know. The dentist at first seemed hesitant on doing it because I suck so much at describing my symptoms but once he went in the tooth, he said oh I definitely would have needed it at some point. Pretty sure I heard him say I had irreversible pulpitis. And he confirmed the crack in my tooth. I was pretty annoyed though when he looked at my x-rays and said one of my canals in my first root canaled tooth wasn't fully filled and he wants to keep an eye on it. Why was it not done properly in the first place? It wasn't like some general dentist did it, an endodontist did it. It should have been done properly! And if there was an issue, then I should have been told about it, although for all I know, I very well could have been, but since I could barely understand a word she said, who knows?
And that's really been it. Not much has changed. A month later, I'm still feeling blue from the holidays, I still wish I'd get hit by a tractor trailer on the way to work. There are just no words to describe how much my coworkers get under my skin. And this manager needs a reality check. I don't how the fuck she's ever had managerial positions before, because she's a piss poor excuse for one. I can understand having good relations with your employees, but she is way too fucking chummy with people. Especially my FWA. Again- I really and truly don't understand how anyone tolerates my FWA. Even just sitting there doing nothing I want to punch her in the face.
It's weird- I feel so goddamn stupid all of the time and my job makes me feel really inadequate and yet I feel like I deserve better. I basically feel like I'm lowering myself and settling working in this office. There's no kind of incentive in that office. No promotions, no ladder, nothing. And despite how stupid I feel, I feel like I can, and should, make something much better of myself.
I've been following the Weather Channel off and on today, because even though it doesn't affect my area, I'm interested in following the severe weather coverage. All the years I've been reading the Storm Prediction Center, I think only two or three (give or take, I can't remember) times I've seen a high risk day. Especially in the winter months. And I know the last time I was on there, all three of the tornado watches that were in affect were PDS. Scary, scary shit.
And one more thing- after this weekend, I'm so proud of my gender, despite the fact that it's 2017 and we should not have to be marching demanding equality and rights. I also love how on Facebook every single time I see someone criticizing the women's marches, it's always a man.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Random Thoughts
Five days later....still reeling from the election.
I cannot believe this man is going to be our president. And even more I cannot believe the amount of idiots I know who voted for him. And so many are men with daughters. How would they feel if someone talked about their daughters the way Trump talked about women in that video? Oh I bet that would be a a whole other story. I'm so glad they can look past his blatant disrespect for women, minorities, religions, etc in general. Then again, with the amount of hatred I see being spewed on Facebook since the election, it really should not surprise me.
You never really know people until you friend them on Facebook.
Was I particularly happy that Clinton was our candidate? Not necessarily. I voted for the Bernster in the primaries. And I understand that a lot of his supporters were pissed about the whole DNC thing, because it was bull. But I would be damned if I voted for Trump.
Red president, red House, red Senate....I don't want to be a woman right now.
I'm not looking forward to this week in work, thanks to my manager allowing my FWA to have off the entire week. When I left work in Thursday, the workload wasn't looking so good. There was still quite a bit that needed to be done. I had off Friday, so I don't know how much work got done. I dread what I'm going into tomorrow. I swear, if I have to do any overtime this week, while my wallet will appreciate it with the holidays right around the corner, I will be beyond pissed off.
If I could ever have off and go back to work feeling relaxed, it would be a fucking miracle.
I cannot believe this man is going to be our president. And even more I cannot believe the amount of idiots I know who voted for him. And so many are men with daughters. How would they feel if someone talked about their daughters the way Trump talked about women in that video? Oh I bet that would be a a whole other story. I'm so glad they can look past his blatant disrespect for women, minorities, religions, etc in general. Then again, with the amount of hatred I see being spewed on Facebook since the election, it really should not surprise me.
You never really know people until you friend them on Facebook.
Was I particularly happy that Clinton was our candidate? Not necessarily. I voted for the Bernster in the primaries. And I understand that a lot of his supporters were pissed about the whole DNC thing, because it was bull. But I would be damned if I voted for Trump.
Red president, red House, red Senate....I don't want to be a woman right now.
I'm not looking forward to this week in work, thanks to my manager allowing my FWA to have off the entire week. When I left work in Thursday, the workload wasn't looking so good. There was still quite a bit that needed to be done. I had off Friday, so I don't know how much work got done. I dread what I'm going into tomorrow. I swear, if I have to do any overtime this week, while my wallet will appreciate it with the holidays right around the corner, I will be beyond pissed off.
If I could ever have off and go back to work feeling relaxed, it would be a fucking miracle.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
