Random Thoughts

Wow, my brain has been in a drought this week. I have been out of things to discuss, and when I do think of something, I am not near my computer, and then by the time I get to it, I either am too lazy to come on here and type something up, too busy on another site, or I have completely forgotten what it was I wanted to discuss. I am also having an AWFUL week with my favorite bodily system, so that has been making me miserable and not feeling like doing anything.

I was woken up by a bloody nose this morning. I was half asleep and I felt this warm wet feeling under my nose and I looked down at my pillow and there was blood all over it and more gushing out of my nose. I could not get it to stop for almost 15 minutes. And when it finally did mostly stop, I did something that I don't know why I did it, since I know you shouldn't- I blew my nose. And blood started flowing out again. It was another 10 minutes before I stopped wiping blood out of my nose. I have no idea what could have caused it. My nose and sinuses are kind of dry, but I don't think dry sinuses could cause blood to gush out like it was. I know I have a deviated septum, but I am not sure what side it is on. My mom tells me I'd know because I wouldn't be able to breathe from that side, but I have so much trouble with my sinuses it is really hard to distinguish. There is less room on the right side when you look up my nose, so I am think it may be the right side. The nose bleed was coming from my right side. Last time I had a nosebleed, it was from the right side.

On one of my daily websites, I have noticed a lot of racism going on. It's probably been there forever, but I just only recently started visiting more sections of it. It bugs the shit out of me. Hating someone for the color of their skin is racism. It's not okay, it's not acceptable, there is no such thing as reverse racism. One time on a One Direction posting, I saw a comment that this person hates Zayn's girlfriend.....because she is white. There are many examples, but that one pissed me off the most. Imagine if the situation was reversed?

Another time someone posted a link to a Zayn shrine Tumblr page and the creator of the page went on some long string that Louis is some kind of racist because he interrupts Zayn a lot in interviews. Or something ridiculous of that nature. I love/hate Louis, and he's a major ass (I am going to resist making jokes from that, but....DAT ASS), but calling him a racist is a little much. I don't think Louis is that much of an....ass. Goddammit, boy! You and your big ass!

I'll never forget the time back in the good old days of AOL instant messaging when I was chatting with some guy and he was pushing for me to meet him, and I kept saying no, and then I get "you won't meet because I'm black, right?". Yeah. That's it. I wouldn't meet you because you are black, a tidbit of information I was not aware of until I was being accused of why I wouldn't meet you. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was in his 30's and I was like 19. Dumbass.

Sometimes I wish the world could do like that episode of the Fairly Oddparents when Timmy gets tired of his dentist always thinking he is superior to everyone, and wishes that everyone could be the same and everyone turns into gray blobs. But it would probably end up like how it turns out in the episode, with people still belittling each other. I really hate this world sometimes.

I just found out one of my favorite supermarkets is closing. I am so disappointed. It seems like every store or restaurant I like is disappearing.

Song Of The Day

Yeah, make fun of me all you want; it's a fun song:

"War" Is Declared Once Again

Cripes. I almost forgot about this yearly nonsense:

Fox News' 'War On Christmas' Returns (VIDEO) 

"We don't attack any other religion"? Are you for real, Doreen? Really. Are you fucking kidding me? I can't even with this. This whole situation....it's just embarrassing now. And I am not just referring to the war on Christmas whiners. I am referring to the people out there who do actually get offended by what someone wishes them. It's still no damn war, though. The war on Christmas whiners need to pull their heads out of their ass. If there is anything they need to be pissed about, it's how Christmas has gone from being about the birth of Jeebus to a materialistic nightmare.

Come on- a holiday tree? For heaven's sake, people.

The Bitch, Please Of The Day

Nicki Minaj's ‘Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded - The Re-Up': Singer Blames Walmart For Poor Album Sales

Picture Of The Day

A shot of the iTunes visualizer; yes, I am very easily amused:

Comments Of The Day

From this article's comment section; stupid, I know, but it made me laugh:

Cracked's comment sections are pure gold.

Random Thoughts

And so the holiday season officially begins. Blah. It would be great if one of these years I could actually feel happy about the holidays. The holidays are always my favorite time of the year and it would be nice if just one year I could actually NOT spend the bulk of it wishing I could buy a gun and blow my brains out. Or wanting to burst into tears when we are celebrating my birthday because I wish I wasn't around for it. I dread next year's birthday when I turn 30.

I went out on Tuesday with my sister, brother-in-law, and his brother and wife. We went to see Wreck It Ralph (cute movie, by the way) and to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner (this is the first and will probably be the last time I can say I walked into there and was seated immediately). It was an awkward night to say the least. My BIL was in one of his moods. And the other two are nice, but strange. And do not talk much. I had to sit in the back of the car with them and it was just awkward. Nobody was talking, no music. I kept thinking, Jesus, will someone just say something already? I do not think my sister was in a pleasant mood with them either.

I don't know if I have ever mentioned how when I go out to eat, I always feel awkward about eating. I guess maybe because I still see myself as a fat ass and judge myself on how I eat that everyone else does as well. You know, I find it kind of odd that I always feel invisible, yet I always feel like everyone is judging me. But whatever. When I go out to eat, it's almost torturous at times. And when I went out on Tuesday, it was one of those times. Neither of the other two eat much, and weigh about 5 pounds each. When we got our meals, at first I felt really self-conscious, like everyone is going to think yeah, like you need to eat that. And then halfway through the meal, I thought you know what, fuck this shit and ate my entire meal. Every bit of grilled cheese, every French fry. When I got my cheesecake, I ate every bit of that. I normally always eat everything on my plate when I go out to eat anyway. But I hate that I have to feel self-conscious about it.

It was odd not having Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving. It did not even feel like Thanksgiving. It just felt like any other day. I do still wish I had saved my pie, but I knew I would maybe be going to dinner on Tuesday so I figured I'd save my pie for Thursday, eat good Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday. Instead, I ended up eating out on Sunday, so I figured what the hell, and ate the pie Sunday. It tends to get a little irritating working out how to eat all week. It would be easier if some people didn't guilt trip me constantly about not wanting to eat certain things.

The Awesome Of The Day

I just discovered the iTunes visualizer while listening to "Siberian Breaks". I am about to cry at how awesome it is. It's like a psychedelic trip without the drugs.

Also, happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I am jealous of everyone eating Thanksgiving dinner today. Especially pie. I never did save my pie. I ended up eating it on Sunday night.

Video Of The Day

It's a million years old, but it's still one of my favorites every holiday season:

The WTF Of The Day

Oh look, another potential "disorder" for some undisciplined brat to be diagnosed with:

Tantrum Diagnosis: DSM-V May Include Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder 

Oh APA, I hope you are never in the market to get mental illness to be taken more seriously. Because you are not helping. If this "disorder" gets added, then psychiatrists will take advantage of it. Tons of kids will be over-diagnosed, meds will be doled out like candy, Big Pharma will explode in profits (gee, maybe I should invest in some Big Pharma stock), more kids' brains will be fucked up. And Mommy and Daddy can just sit back with one less thing on their shoulders. Oh don't mind my kid nearly murdering another kid. He's just got [insert latest trendy diag-nonsense].

And then there was this part:

Previously announced changes to the manual are already causing controversy, particularly the decision to eliminate Asperger’s Syndrome as a separate diagnosis and merge it into the broader category of Autism Spectrum Disorder. In an age when diagnosis has become identity, that move was widely criticized by “Aspies” who take pride in their diagnosis. 

Are you kidding me?