Trump on coronavirus testing: ‘If we stopped testing right now, we’d have very few cases, if any’
Tuesday, June 16, 2020
Monday, June 15, 2020
Random Thoughts
So NJ has officially entered phase 2 of its reopening plan. I'm honestly envious of everyone ready for this, because I am nowhere near ready to venture out like before. I'm still at the point of wanting to hide under my bed and not come out, but we all know I'm a big chicken shit anyway.
My manager texted me last week to see how I was doing, but I have still yet to hear anything else. No word on my benefits, possible return to work, nothing. I'm getting frustrated and unfortunately I'm stubborn and refuse to remind people I exist. I'd like to contact another coworker who has been furloughed, but I either do not have a contact source or I do not feel comfortable enough with the person to contact them.
For the past few weeks, my back and hips have been hurting. Not anything to affect my activities of daily living too much, but enough to be immensely uncomfortable. My entire pelvis just aches. My left thigh also is hurting. And considering I tend to get this discomfort (I've had it before) at certain times in my cycle (usually ovulation time and right around my period), it really and truly makes me wonder about endometriosis. Now that I've finally experienced being under anesthesia, I'm a little less nervous about undergoing a laparoscopy for endometriosis. The issue will be finding someone willing to test me for it.
And for the love of God, I better make sure I get it pre-authorized if needed!
My manager texted me last week to see how I was doing, but I have still yet to hear anything else. No word on my benefits, possible return to work, nothing. I'm getting frustrated and unfortunately I'm stubborn and refuse to remind people I exist. I'd like to contact another coworker who has been furloughed, but I either do not have a contact source or I do not feel comfortable enough with the person to contact them.
For the past few weeks, my back and hips have been hurting. Not anything to affect my activities of daily living too much, but enough to be immensely uncomfortable. My entire pelvis just aches. My left thigh also is hurting. And considering I tend to get this discomfort (I've had it before) at certain times in my cycle (usually ovulation time and right around my period), it really and truly makes me wonder about endometriosis. Now that I've finally experienced being under anesthesia, I'm a little less nervous about undergoing a laparoscopy for endometriosis. The issue will be finding someone willing to test me for it.
And for the love of God, I better make sure I get it pre-authorized if needed!
Wednesday, June 10, 2020
Monday, June 1, 2020
Thursday, May 28, 2020
Sunday, May 24, 2020
Random Thoughts
More than I'd like, there's many things that bother me that I don't understand why they do so. My one coworker, the one who claims to tell it like it is, we're pretty cool for the most part, although I have to say as a coworker, she gets under my skin very much. Also, I don't understand how someone who complains about different noises so much can be such a noisy person herself. Every time she collates papers, I want to take the stack and smack her on the head with it. But this isn't why I'm bringing her up. She typically "likes" a lot of things I post on Facebook, but for the past almost two months, she hasn't liked anything. And I know we're still friends, because I see her posts. I don't understand it, because I can't think of anything I might have done. Especially because, ya know, I HAVEN'T EVEN FREAKING BEEN IN WORK. Sure, there's been some posts I've made regarding the pandemic that might have been a little heated, but I can't see anything in them that would have offended her. And it's annoying me that this is bothering me. It's only fucking Facebook.
Look, I'm the first person to admit that I am a whiny immature catty bitch, but I graduated high school almost 18 years ago. I'm not here for this high school drama shit anymore. I dealt with it at the temp job I was working at right before I was admitted to the hospital (an assistant manager and the girl who trained me did not like each other, and I inadvertently got dragged into the middle of their drama).
If, and I know there are probably many, people find me annoying, just remember this....nobody, and I mean nobody, finds me more annoying than me. I was freaking out one day over something stupid, and at some point I stopped and said to my mother that thank god I don't plan on ever getting married, because I would make someone's life a living hell because I'm so goddamn anal retentive.
All my local news has been talking about this weekend (after the constant Covid coverage) is the shore. I've finally gotten to the point where I want to go down really bad, although I am still overly nervous about going anywhere. The whole staying home part of the pandemic hasn't bothered me much, since before it even came about I never went anywhere much anyway. I really only ever went out if I needed to, and even then if I went in a store, I got what I needed and was out the door in no time. However, the lack of being able to just get in the car to go somewhere I need to go to without worrying about catching the virus is what is mainly frustrating. I'm terrified to touch anything, and although wearing a mask makes me a little less anxious, it doesn't help a whole lot. I'm always worried if I have on right, tight enough, etc.
I honestly don't understand the whole big deal about wearing masks. For the most part I like wearing one (I think I like covering my face). Yes, it can be uncomfortable at times, but you know what else is uncomfortable? Not being able to breathe. Being on a ventilator. Being alone in a hospital room without your family.
All I know is when and if this pandemic is ever over, I never want to hear the terms "social distancing", "quarantine" (unless I'm putting a computer virus in it), "difficult times", "challenging times", "unprecedented times", "these times", etc EVER AGAIN. Do not hesitate to point out if I missed any.
ETA 5/25: How on earth could I forget one of the phrases that grinds my gears the most? "We're in this together" or "we're all in this together". No, no we are NOT all in this together.
Look, I'm the first person to admit that I am a whiny immature catty bitch, but I graduated high school almost 18 years ago. I'm not here for this high school drama shit anymore. I dealt with it at the temp job I was working at right before I was admitted to the hospital (an assistant manager and the girl who trained me did not like each other, and I inadvertently got dragged into the middle of their drama).
If, and I know there are probably many, people find me annoying, just remember this....nobody, and I mean nobody, finds me more annoying than me. I was freaking out one day over something stupid, and at some point I stopped and said to my mother that thank god I don't plan on ever getting married, because I would make someone's life a living hell because I'm so goddamn anal retentive.
All my local news has been talking about this weekend (after the constant Covid coverage) is the shore. I've finally gotten to the point where I want to go down really bad, although I am still overly nervous about going anywhere. The whole staying home part of the pandemic hasn't bothered me much, since before it even came about I never went anywhere much anyway. I really only ever went out if I needed to, and even then if I went in a store, I got what I needed and was out the door in no time. However, the lack of being able to just get in the car to go somewhere I need to go to without worrying about catching the virus is what is mainly frustrating. I'm terrified to touch anything, and although wearing a mask makes me a little less anxious, it doesn't help a whole lot. I'm always worried if I have on right, tight enough, etc.
I honestly don't understand the whole big deal about wearing masks. For the most part I like wearing one (I think I like covering my face). Yes, it can be uncomfortable at times, but you know what else is uncomfortable? Not being able to breathe. Being on a ventilator. Being alone in a hospital room without your family.
All I know is when and if this pandemic is ever over, I never want to hear the terms "social distancing", "quarantine" (unless I'm putting a computer virus in it), "difficult times", "challenging times", "unprecedented times", "these times", etc EVER AGAIN. Do not hesitate to point out if I missed any.
ETA 5/25: How on earth could I forget one of the phrases that grinds my gears the most? "We're in this together" or "we're all in this together". No, no we are NOT all in this together.
Sunday, May 17, 2020
Random Thoughts
I'm really starting to get pissed with work now. As far as I last knew, my benefits were being paid through the end of April, then they would make a decision on what to do. May is more than half over and I have still yet to hear from anyone about what's going on with benefits, resumption of work, etc, anything at all. Was I forgotten about or something? It wouldn't be the first time I have been forgotten for things. Hell, there's even been times in work where my manager (supposedly) forgot to include me in meetings. Not even joking.
I mean, I can totally understand how people can forget me if I'm not physically in their presence, because for the most part I am extremely quiet when I'm around people. But then a part of me is like, if I have to remind people I exist, that's problematic. And it shouldn't be my responsibility to remind people I exist.
I know I am reaching the point where I'm taking this being furloughed far too personally now. I've always been taking it personally, but now a lot more than originally. I don't know why I am, but I just am. It's making me feel completely wretched, a loser, more proof that I'm a failure at life, you name it.
I mean, I can totally understand how people can forget me if I'm not physically in their presence, because for the most part I am extremely quiet when I'm around people. But then a part of me is like, if I have to remind people I exist, that's problematic. And it shouldn't be my responsibility to remind people I exist.
I know I am reaching the point where I'm taking this being furloughed far too personally now. I've always been taking it personally, but now a lot more than originally. I don't know why I am, but I just am. It's making me feel completely wretched, a loser, more proof that I'm a failure at life, you name it.
Friday, May 8, 2020
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
Random Thoughts
My tolerance for being furloughed is about to be reached.
I hate feeling this way, but I am starting to take being furloughed far too personally. Like it's bad enough the company laid me off before, then I just so happened to have to be chosen to be furloughed as well? It's been over a month, I got one text from my manager, and that was just to say hi and she misses me. Otherwise, nothing. I have no idea what the hell is even going on. And of course my mind is starting to really go to town, and I'm staring to get really scared that they're just going to decide to lay me off permanently.
I decided when I was first furloughed that I was going to try to stick with my normal routine as much as possible. But as my anxiety levels skyrocketed and my mood plummeted, it ended up not happening. I've been rolling out of bed no earlier than 10, and even that's a major effort. I have to force myself out of bed. I go to bed every night hoping something takes me during the night, but alas I still wake up every morning. I knew when I was feeling kind of good (possible hypomania?) back in the fall and early winter that a crash was inevitably going to come; however, I did not expect one this bad to happen.
And to add to everything I am already anxious about (which is basically everything), my mother is constantly complaining to me that she's worried about her stomach being so bloated and worried about having cancer, and I'm just ready to blow my brains out. I just can't even fathom that right now.
Oh, and I received an EOB a few weeks ago from my insurance that my endoscopy was denied due to not having preauthorization. Now maybe I should have found out about that before having the procedure done, but in my defense, any time I have needed preauthorization, the doctor's office always obtained it. Neither the doctor's office nor the surgical facility looked into it. If I have to pay for this, it's over $5,000.
I hate feeling this way, but I am starting to take being furloughed far too personally. Like it's bad enough the company laid me off before, then I just so happened to have to be chosen to be furloughed as well? It's been over a month, I got one text from my manager, and that was just to say hi and she misses me. Otherwise, nothing. I have no idea what the hell is even going on. And of course my mind is starting to really go to town, and I'm staring to get really scared that they're just going to decide to lay me off permanently.
I decided when I was first furloughed that I was going to try to stick with my normal routine as much as possible. But as my anxiety levels skyrocketed and my mood plummeted, it ended up not happening. I've been rolling out of bed no earlier than 10, and even that's a major effort. I have to force myself out of bed. I go to bed every night hoping something takes me during the night, but alas I still wake up every morning. I knew when I was feeling kind of good (possible hypomania?) back in the fall and early winter that a crash was inevitably going to come; however, I did not expect one this bad to happen.
And to add to everything I am already anxious about (which is basically everything), my mother is constantly complaining to me that she's worried about her stomach being so bloated and worried about having cancer, and I'm just ready to blow my brains out. I just can't even fathom that right now.
Oh, and I received an EOB a few weeks ago from my insurance that my endoscopy was denied due to not having preauthorization. Now maybe I should have found out about that before having the procedure done, but in my defense, any time I have needed preauthorization, the doctor's office always obtained it. Neither the doctor's office nor the surgical facility looked into it. If I have to pay for this, it's over $5,000.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
