Random Thoughts

My sister and I are a lot alike. And then there are times where we are absolute opposites. Neither of us come from anything. And we both are well aware of that. Yet you wouldn't know it sometimes. When we were starting to plan my sister's baby shower, my sister made it clear she did not want to be surprised like with her bridal shower*. And then she casually mentions how it would be nice to have it at the same place as her bridal shower, which was also the same place her wedding was at. I thought it was a bit nervy of her to even suggest where she wanted it, but of course Mom is always out to please her princess so she booked it for there.

*she claims she doesn't like surprises; I think it has more to do with the fact that if she doesn't know about it, she can't make herself look absolutely perfect

Do you know how much this shower is costing? Almost one grand. Almost one fucking thousand dollars. This is just the cost of the place itself. Not including balloons, the party favors, gifts, etc. And it was decided that the 5 of us (Mom, mother-in-law, my aunt, my grandmother, and me) were going to split the entire thing. I was not happy when I found that out. Mostly because I don't know how long people were planning to not tell me that. One thousand dollars is a ridiculous price for a shower. And my sister has a lot of GALL to expect such a fancy shower when she knows my mother is tight on money, I lost my job, and my aunt sucks with money and is always tight on it. I honestly don't get her mindset with this. I don't understand who she is trying to impress.

And still no response from my cousin. And I did see that she read it. Bitch. If I didn't like anyone in my father's side of the family before, I really hate them now. All of the goddamn parties we have attended for those assholes, and not one could return the favor for my sister. There have been so many times my sister has went nuts switching work schedules to make it to these parties. And not one could make the effort to come. It wouldn't be so bad if the bulk of the excuses weren't so half-assed, like one soon to be cousin's excuse that she always has to work on Saturdays. Okay. Then explain why you have been at so many other Saturday parties.

And her mother-in-law decided to take matters into her own hands and get the party favors. She buys these expensive ass nonpareils, like $15 per pound, that are not even remotely baby colored. The boxes are all green and not assorted. And then she brings green ribbon over. Not pastel green. Kelly green. The five of us put them together on Sunday and I just looked at them like really? These don't look like baby shower favors. They look like something for St. Patty's Day! For someone who thinks she knows everything about everything, she clearly knows nothing about baby shower favors. Anyone with half a brain knows you use pastel colored objects.

I'm excited about the shower, but I honestly can't wait until it is over. My mother is on edge about, and she is taking it all out on me. And I am tired of every conversation being about it. I try to talk to my mom about things bothering and she just completely ignores me and goes on about the shower. Like my problems don't even matter. And being on these damn birth control pills are making me feel really depressed, so my problems being ignored is really bugging me. I can't tell you how many times I have cried this past week because I feel so hurt.

I don't feel much different since I switched to the Sronyx. I feel just as bloated. The only thing that is different is I am feeling a lot more depressed, having more mood swings, and I am feeling a lot more hostile. I am normally someone who is pretty good at holding her tongue, but there have been many times I have had to leave the room because I knew I'd say something I'd regret.

Oh and I am definitely feeling more nauseous. I also am starting to wonder if birth control is what could be constipating me so bad. This is one of the worst bouts of constipation I have had in a long time, if ever. My lower abdomen is bulging so bad. It's also rock hard. It's really starting to worry me. I took Milk of Magnesia earlier, but it has yet to start working. If it does. Doctors claim the pill can't cause constipation, but I can't see why it couldn't. Then again, any side effect with birth control is always shunned by medical professionals. And due to all of this bloating and minor breast swelling, I feel so top heavy. I feel like my belly is as big as my sister's.

Birth control apparently tricks a woman's body into thinking she is pregnant. If all these symptoms I am feeling are any inkling as to what my body would be like if I were pregnant, then I am REALLY glad I am never getting pregnant.

My mother and I went over my grandparents the other day since my father is an asshole and couldn't just let my mom dye my aunt's hair on Sunday while she was over and while I was in the bathroom, I hear my grandfather yelling about taxes and Obama and all that. Then the fire department calls looking for donations. My grandfather tells them he is on a fixed income, Obama raised his taxes, blah blah blah. Then he gets off the phone and starts screaming about people wanting donations. And then this was the best part- he starts yelling what have the police and firemen ever done for him? I just looked at him in disbelief.

The Moronic Comment Of The Day

From this ONTD article:

That's funny, because I don't recall many, if any, MGMT songs being about break-ups. I mean, I'll gladly go listen to all of the songs in my iTunes library, since I'll always find an excuse to listen to their songs, but I seriously cannot name any off of the top of my head*. Jesus. I don't care how much of a psycho stan I sound like, but come on. MGMT isn't a bunch of whiny emos. But I guess you would know that if you actually LISTENED TO THEIR MUSIC, you dumb cow.

*I am not the best person when it comes to deciphering song lyrics, so I am solely basing this on my interpretations of songs, as well as on what the songs actually mean coming straight from the horse's mouth, e.g "Siberian Breaks" is about surfing in the Arctic Circle. And even if there is a break-up song in existence, it's probably so much fun that I don't even realize it's a break-up song.

I will hit shuffle on iTunes and....."Song For Dan Treacy" is first. That is definitely not a break-up song. But it is a fun song to dance to. Also, I just went back and reread that article in the link for "Siberian Breaks" and this part:

Pack a wetsuit.

I saw a surf video with some guy who is surfing up there. But it looks a little too chilly for me. I don't want to be the guy that's completely covered in rubber.

Oh no. Please do, Andrew. My ovari-er, humanity will thank you.














See more on Know Your Meme.

Oh What A Surprise

And Here Comes The Revenge Single In 3..2...

The WTF Of The Day

Chocolate baby heads are a chocky horror show

After seeing this, I think I am going to back and look at those dermoid cyst pictures (NSWE, NSFPWE, NSFAA, NSFU) to take my mind OH GOD THERE ARE PICTURES OF THE ONES WITH TEETH. There is a picture of one with a big honking molar jutting out of it!

ARGH

Everyone and everything is annoying me more since I started the pill, but is there by some chance that birth control can make women more annoyed with men? Because I swear since I started it, men have really been irritating the fuck out of me. Especially my father. Doesn't help that he walked into my bedroom while my door was closed yesterday morning. And right now he is fighting with my mom because she said she would like to dye my aunt's hair while they are over tomorrow so she can save herself a trip to Philly this week. He's saying that my mom's hands are bad and they have nerve expecting her to do that. Like he gives a shit. He cared about her "bad hands" back in the fall when she was cleaning the entire house while he sat on his fat ass. Your house. You know, the one you pay for. Really grasping at straws there, old man.

This bout of constipation is really starting to piss me the hell off. If this bloating is due to the birth control also, I'd rather have bleeding in between periods than deal with this.

And the fact that I sent one of my cousins an email asking if she is going to attend my sister's shower and she has not responded to it yet despite the fact that I have seen her online twice is pissing me off, too. God, what is so fucking difficult about hitting reply and saying yes I am coming or no I am not coming? I don't get it.

The WTF Of The Day

Steubenville High School Students Joke About Rape In Video Leaked By Anonymous

Proud of yourselves, boys? Proud that you took advantage of someone? Good god. People are disgusting. Could you imagine being the mother or father of one of these little shits? I'd break their legs, and then I would disown them. But judging by the article, Mommy and Daddy probably don't think their sons did anything wrong. I heard one of the mothers was one of the prosecutors. The girl was probably just some drunk slut. I mean, it's always the woman's fault right? How dare she look all cute and sexy in front of men. How dare her cute and sexiness force a man's penis to become hard and then forced into her vagina.

And this shithead:

Even without much official public information about the night, some people in town are skeptical of the police account, like Nate Hubbard, a Big Red volunteer coach. As he stood in the shadow of Harding Stadium, where he once dazzled the crowd with his runs, Hubbard gave voice to some of the popular, if harsh, suspicions. “The rape was just an excuse, I think,” said the 27-year-old Hubbard, who is No. 2 on the Big Red’s career rushing list.“What else are you going to tell your parents when you come home drunk like that and after a night like that?” said Hubbard, who is one of the team’s 19 coaches. “She had to make up something. Now people are trying to blow up our football program because of it.”

Are you for real, dude? Really. Are you fucking for real? With that attitude, I bet this knuckle-dragging Neanderthal probably did his fair share of raping girls back in high school.

I hope everyone involved in this goes to jail. And I hope the prisoners know the story. And I hope those two little MISTAKES get passed around and raped repeatedly by the prisoners. And unlike the young lady, I hope they are both completely conscious during the whole thing. Fuck these two little shits, fuck the school, fuck that idiot Hubbard, fuck the coaches, and most of all, fuck those asinine OMGZ football is everything towns.

Random Thoughts

I have iTunes open and on shuffle and "Future Reflections" just came on. I have never cared for that song, but I think I may just finally be warming up to it. "Future Reflections" and "Lady Dada's Nightmare" are the only two MGMT songs I have never cared for by them. I doubt I will ever care for the latter, though. It just freaks me out too much.

I contacted my old boss about the side effects I have been having from the birth control. So I am now going to be going off of Ortho-Cyclen (I went back on it yesterday) and going on Sronyx, which has lower hormones. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I am so damn bloated today I want to scream. My digestive system seriously could not have picked a worse time to have a bad IBS flare up, between going on birth control and the holidays.

I was given a prescription to have a pelvic ultrasound done to make sure there are no cysts or anything. I have no idea how to even go about having this done. Personally I think maybe I should have it done, because this bloating is really starting to concern me. But how I would afford it, I don't know. I mean technically I could, but my unemployment ended and there is still no job in sight, so I am hesitant to put out the money for it.

I am reading on ovarian cysts on WebMD and there are all these different types:

• Polycystic ovaries. In polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), the follicles in which the eggs normally mature fail to open and cysts form.
• Endometriomas. In women with endometriosis, tissue from the lining of the uterus grows in other areas of the body. This includes the ovaries. It can be very painful and can affect fertility.
• Cystadenomas. These cysts form out of cells on the surface of the ovary. They are often fluid-filled.
• Dermoid cysts. This type of cyst contains tissue similar to that in other parts of the body. That includes skin, hair, and teeth.

That last one....skin, hair, and teeth? Just like those tumors I talked about before. I am going to go google dermoid cyst on Google images and OH GOD WHY

Quote Of The Day

From one of the most flawless movies of all time, Clueless:

So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so!

Comment Of The Day

From this Cracked.com article, by soasertsus:

I never thought of "I'm too selfish to have kids." That seems like a good one. I don't want kids for several reasons, but to be honest I just don't like them. The thing is though, if you say you don't like kids you may as well be a monster on par with Adolf Hitler in some peoples eyes, which isn't preferable.

Sorry, Gladstone, I have to disagree with you. Some people are just too selfish to have kids. Although, come to think of it, many selfish people do have kids. Many stupid, selfish people.

ARGH

I have officially come to loathe my body. Not just the outer part, but the inner part. I mean, I have already hated my brain and digestive system for god knows how many years. One works too much, the other barely functions. But now other systems seem to want to go awry as well. I don't know what is going on. And as long as I have no medical, I will continue to not feel well. And as long I continue to not feel well, I won't have a job to get medical. It's lose-lose.

I started bleeding pretty heavy last night, which can supposedly be caused by stopping the pill. I feel awful. My chest is burning so bad. And this is not typical heartburn. This is the type of heartburn I get before my period, and nothing takes it away. I'm all cramped up like menstrual cramps. This seems like it is actually my period, but I don't know if it is.

I'm also still miserably bloated. And still mad at the scale. I want to know if this weight gain is water weight. I don't give a crap if it is water weight. It certainly is possible, if birth control causes you to retain water. The weekend of my birthday and then Christmas Eve and day, I ate a lot of salty foods that I could see causing massive water weight. I can imagine the salt content alone in Chili's and Friday's would be enough to do so. And I have been eating a lot of pretzels, ham, had quite a bit of nuts on Christmas day. Sometimes it amazes me (and also makes me worry) how I can eat so much damn salty food all the time and my blood pressure still runs on the low side of normal. I should have sky-high blood pressure. Everyone else in my family does. Then again, I drink 105 oz of water alone a day, so that probably flushes out a lot.

But anyway, yes, I did eat a lot those days, but I have eaten a lot worse in the past and did not gain weight. This is 5 pounds. That would be 17,500 extra calories. I doubt I ate that much those 4 days. And I am not someone who has no clue of what goes in my mouth. I am pretty well aware of the caloric content of every single thing that goes in my mouth.

And I did increase my exercising. The week of Christmas, I essentially did 2 and a half days of extra exercising. For the most part, my normal routine is 5 days a week, 30 minutes a day. If I am planning on eating over 2000 calories, I will usually do 45 minutes. I did 4 days straight of 45 minute sessions. I also did 45 minutes this past Saturday and on New Years Eve. That might have contributed to it. For some odd reason, my body is very sensitive to extra exercising. Not quite sure why. I know there are people out there who compensate for their bad eating by exercising for long periods of time. I have never been able to do that because it always backfires on me.

Oh and I am still pretty badly constipated. You're not helping, digestive system.

8:25PM: Yeah, I am starting to think this might actually be my period. My uterus feels like it's going to explode. Mother of God.