The Professor and his Angry Dome!
I so want one of those. At home and in my closet office at work. I really could have used one today.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Video Of The Day
I know this song from, believe it or not, a commercial that was played several years ago for The Fairly Oddparents. Took me forever to find out who sang it:
Quote Of The Day
From "A Pharaoh To Remember":
Bender: (in reponse to the eulogies read at his "funeral") Your best is an idiot. Let's pick it up, people. So far it's been crap after crap! I croaked, now show me some love!
Bender: Pick it up, people. We're enslaved here to do a job. Master? Do we have to count to three every time? Couldn't we just count to one. Or better yet one-half?
Osiran: Good idea, slave. [He whips Bender and counts quicker.] One-half, pull! [He whips them.] One-half, pull! [He whips them.]
Bender: Now we're slavin'!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Random Thoughts
This unrelenting feeling of loneliness is starting to just annoy me now. I really can't stand it. Face it- I have never been in a relationship. We all know that. I am fucking starved for one. It is starting to reach dangerous levels. To the point where I have to fear if a cute guy just as so much glances at me sexily, I am going to rip my clothes off right then and there and scream at him to fuck me or else. Or even worse, I will sleep with the first guy who asks me if I want to fuck. I am starting to get to the point where I am about to go hunt down some random stranger in places a socially inept retard (oh noes!) like me would never normally venture near just to get laid.
I feel sorry for the man who takes my virginity. A 27 year old sexually frustrated virgin with sadistic fantasies? I pray he has good health insurance.
One day I would like get all of my coworkers into the conference room and say to them "I have one simple question- how in the hell old are all of you?". Most of my coworkers are quite a bit older than me and they all act about 15. Petty backstabbing gossiping bitches. The two worst are 32 and 36 years of age. One has two kids, the other has one on the way. This is exactly why I hate office work. Most of the time the large majority of the workers are women and they are all backstabbing bitches. I have worked in enough offices to know that all too well. Really now. If I wanted to deal with this teenage shit on a daily basis, I would re-enroll in high school.
Just as I expected, the machine I use in work started making noise on Friday. Not really surprised. I have been using it nonstop for a few days and I have been waiting anxiously for it to start smoking and then burst into flames (I swear, if that had happened, I would have laughed until I choked to death). So I said something to my boss and apparently we might be getting a better one. Which means- oh noes- "the man" is going to have to put out even more money, instead of just not being so fucking cheap and spending a hell of a lot of money for a bigger machine in the first place. I mean, really. These people are so goddamn cheap they make me look like a spendaholic.
I was annoyed on Wednesday because it was the first day I was doing this job and my boss decided to have a meeting and then she told me I already knew pretty much everything she would talk about so I need not come. Then a little while later, she changed her mind. I spent 40 minutes in a meeting that, as expected, I already was well aware of all of the information given. At one point, I just said I had too much to do and can I get back to work. I cursed up a storm as soon as I got out of the meeting room. Really? Why did I have to go? It was a waste of my time! And I was also getting annoyed because at one point, one of my coworkers started making jokes about "the man" and while I would never defend him and probably agree with most of them, when the jokes start turning homophobic, then I get annoyed. And they did. I don't know why my coworker gets a gay vibe from him. I just get a giant asexual asshole vibe.
Jesus Christmas! How could I forget about this?!:
Aretha Franklin: 'The Problem Has Been Resolved' | PopEater.com
She's okay! The Queen of Soul (and boobies) is okay!
*bursts into tears, falls on knees, and throws hands in air* Hallelujah!
I feel sorry for the man who takes my virginity. A 27 year old sexually frustrated virgin with sadistic fantasies? I pray he has good health insurance.
One day I would like get all of my coworkers into the conference room and say to them "I have one simple question- how in the hell old are all of you?". Most of my coworkers are quite a bit older than me and they all act about 15. Petty backstabbing gossiping bitches. The two worst are 32 and 36 years of age. One has two kids, the other has one on the way. This is exactly why I hate office work. Most of the time the large majority of the workers are women and they are all backstabbing bitches. I have worked in enough offices to know that all too well. Really now. If I wanted to deal with this teenage shit on a daily basis, I would re-enroll in high school.
Just as I expected, the machine I use in work started making noise on Friday. Not really surprised. I have been using it nonstop for a few days and I have been waiting anxiously for it to start smoking and then burst into flames (I swear, if that had happened, I would have laughed until I choked to death). So I said something to my boss and apparently we might be getting a better one. Which means- oh noes- "the man" is going to have to put out even more money, instead of just not being so fucking cheap and spending a hell of a lot of money for a bigger machine in the first place. I mean, really. These people are so goddamn cheap they make me look like a spendaholic.
I was annoyed on Wednesday because it was the first day I was doing this job and my boss decided to have a meeting and then she told me I already knew pretty much everything she would talk about so I need not come. Then a little while later, she changed her mind. I spent 40 minutes in a meeting that, as expected, I already was well aware of all of the information given. At one point, I just said I had too much to do and can I get back to work. I cursed up a storm as soon as I got out of the meeting room. Really? Why did I have to go? It was a waste of my time! And I was also getting annoyed because at one point, one of my coworkers started making jokes about "the man" and while I would never defend him and probably agree with most of them, when the jokes start turning homophobic, then I get annoyed. And they did. I don't know why my coworker gets a gay vibe from him. I just get a giant asexual asshole vibe.
Jesus Christmas! How could I forget about this?!:
Aretha Franklin: 'The Problem Has Been Resolved' | PopEater.com
She's okay! The Queen of Soul (and boobies) is okay!
*bursts into tears, falls on knees, and throws hands in air* Hallelujah!
An Angry Letter To Sarah Palin
Dear Sarah:
The Daily What
You and your supporters are a bunch of sick motherfuckers. Hit lists? Really?
See you in hell one day, bitch, although I am sure I am not even evil enough to go to the level of hell you will be going to.
The Daily What
You and your supporters are a bunch of sick motherfuckers. Hit lists? Really?
See you in hell one day, bitch, although I am sure I am not even evil enough to go to the level of hell you will be going to.
Quote Of The Day
From this Cracked article:
But of course in the prequels, we see that eternally prepubescent voice of Anakin Skywalker gets injected with a full dose of James Earl Jones after a well-deserved lava bath in Revenge of the Sith. This was such an improvement to the character that we kind of wonder why Jake Lloyd didn't immediately fling himself into lava the moment he appeared on screen in Episode I.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Quote Of The Day
From Futurama episode "Anthology Of Interest":
Bender: Hey, I called this city! Quit touching my stuff!The last one is funnier when you actually hear the Professor say it. I think he goes on for about 10 minutes. Plus, he says "oh my yes". I love when the Professor says "oh my yes".
Zoidberg: Tell it to claw.
[He holds up his claw to Bender.]
Bender: Bite my colossal metal ass!
Farnsworth: (to Leela) That's why I've made you my sole heir. The day I die, you'll be a very wealthy woman. Oh my yes. Incredibly wealthy. The day I die. Because you're so unimpulsive.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Random Thoughts
I don't know what came over me yesterday, but I was fine most of the day and then I was hit like a ton of bricks by this horrible depression. I was always someone who prided myself on being single, but I can no longer deny that it is really starting to get to me now. I felt so goddamn lonely yesterday it was unbearable. I want a relationship, but I have never been in one so I am absolutely terrified of obtaining one, mainly because I really am clueless on how to build one. I think I will be so worried about having my heart broken that I won't really ever be able to put the effort into that I should. Plus, is there really someone out there who will be able to love me just the way I am? I try to think I am not that bad of a person, but hell, I can't even put up with me most of the time.
For some reason, I thought back to high school about all of the guys I would have given the world for, but could never be bothered with me. Not one freaking guy was interested. And it is still the case. I pulled up to work today and saw that the group of guys was in and I thought, ooh, maybe the cute one is in. And sure enough he was. And guess what I found out today? Apparently, he is married now. My response when an acquaintence told me was simply "of course he is". I never would have pursued anything anyway, even if he was single, but I still couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. And silly! I always wore something other than scrubs on the days I saw they would be in just in case he was one of the ones in and some other little things to try to get him interested. All for nothing. I am sure my actions were pretty pathetic anyway.
What a naive idiot I was, to think someone like him would ever flirt with me. God do I suck.
"The man" was in today and everyone waits until it's almost time for me to leave to teach me how to do something. It's going to be a freaking joke. Really and truly a big freaking joke. Figures. Just when I was starting to feel somewhat content with my job. Now it's going to probably suck big time. I was so frustrated and annoyed that I was seriously thisclose to saying fuck this and walking out the door. This job is going to be impossible to do. For one, it's going to take forever. And I cannot stand being talked to like I am 5 years old and I also cannot stand for someone to try and argue with me over something I know from using the goddamn machine every day!
At one point, "the man" made subtle remarks about me finding something else to do while the computer was under remote control. Something I could do outside the computer. Certainly; I can fist pump you in the face, I wanted to say. I am sure that would have went over very well with him. I would have more than likely been fired right on the spot, but I am sure with the way I was feeling, I would have said "all righty then!" and cartwheeled out of the building.
My coworkers would have liked that. The punching in the face, that is.
For some reason, I thought back to high school about all of the guys I would have given the world for, but could never be bothered with me. Not one freaking guy was interested. And it is still the case. I pulled up to work today and saw that the group of guys was in and I thought, ooh, maybe the cute one is in. And sure enough he was. And guess what I found out today? Apparently, he is married now. My response when an acquaintence told me was simply "of course he is". I never would have pursued anything anyway, even if he was single, but I still couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. And silly! I always wore something other than scrubs on the days I saw they would be in just in case he was one of the ones in and some other little things to try to get him interested. All for nothing. I am sure my actions were pretty pathetic anyway.
What a naive idiot I was, to think someone like him would ever flirt with me. God do I suck.
"The man" was in today and everyone waits until it's almost time for me to leave to teach me how to do something. It's going to be a freaking joke. Really and truly a big freaking joke. Figures. Just when I was starting to feel somewhat content with my job. Now it's going to probably suck big time. I was so frustrated and annoyed that I was seriously thisclose to saying fuck this and walking out the door. This job is going to be impossible to do. For one, it's going to take forever. And I cannot stand being talked to like I am 5 years old and I also cannot stand for someone to try and argue with me over something I know from using the goddamn machine every day!
At one point, "the man" made subtle remarks about me finding something else to do while the computer was under remote control. Something I could do outside the computer. Certainly; I can fist pump you in the face, I wanted to say. I am sure that would have went over very well with him. I would have more than likely been fired right on the spot, but I am sure with the way I was feeling, I would have said "all righty then!" and cartwheeled out of the building.
My coworkers would have liked that. The punching in the face, that is.
Quote Of The Day
From Family Guy episode "Don't Make Me Over":
Peter: Stand aside. Its time for me to fufill my fatherly duty. HAHA I said duty! But no time to laugh about it now!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Random Thoughts
Happy belated New Year!
It's absolutely amazing. This is the first New Years in many years I did not end up in my bedroom sobbing after the ball dropped. Brain, whatever is going on up there....keep it up. Please.
I don't remember why I was discussing high blood pressure with someone one day, but it made me think back to the day after I was admitted to the hospital. A nurse came and told me the dietician would be coming and talking with me due to my blood pressure being a little high when I was admitted (they do all kinds of fun shit when you are admitted to a crazy place- temperature, weight, height, BP. Make you strip down to your underwear and shake out your bra and underwear. Yes. Because my method of suicide*, which was spelled out clearly to the crisis counselor, would have fit into any place in my body.). Let's review all of this for a second. I am stressed to the point of being suicidal over the ideation I have MS. I am told I have to "voluntarily" admit myself to a psychiatric hospital for 96 hours (after being told by my therapist at the most a 48 hour hold) or else I will be taken to an ER by a cop and more than likely involuntatily admitted. I had to strip down to my skivvies in front of some cow who I don't know from Adam.
Hm. Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I certainly cannot see any part of that story that would be the reason behind my blood pressure skyrocketing.
*carbon monoxide poisoning by stuffing my car exhaust pipe
My mother has a big mouth. Both Friday and Saturday my sister was around and the four of us went to dinner on Saturday and my mom starts telling me this story about guess where "my girlfriend" went and I demand to know which girlfriend she is referring to and she says Elisabeth Hasselcrack (her being "my girlfriend" is news to me) and apparently she went to Seaside or something and saw Snooki (or something) and then my dad mentions about one of the guys being arrested and my mom goes "oh is that your boyfriend who was arrested?" and my sister goes "who is your boyfriend?! Ronnie?!" and I said "no!" and then she says "who is it? Mike "the Situation"?!" and looks to my mom, who says "I don't know his name" and then my sister says "he was the one on Dancing With The Stars" and my mom goes "oh yes!" and it turned into this whole big fiasco of my sister laughing hysterically and telling me she now can hold this against me whenever I and I quote "make me feel guilty for watching Jersey Shore" and making some comment about how greasy looking he is (which he is. Good God, I saw Durrrsey Shur on one night and it was just him in that side panel thing putting words together and his face was so fucking shiny. I shouldn't laugh at this, but it's fun to laugh at him). I swear to God, she didn't leave me alone about it for about 2 hours. When we got home she was still ribbing me about it and I went off to use the bathroom and all I heard was loud guffawing and when I came out, the new issue of the TV Guide was in my place at the kitchen table and it was opened to the cast picture and she drew a heart above him. I slammed it shut and yelled "oh you can all kiss my ass!". That only made everything worse.
This is exactly why I told my mom to never say anything to her.
Ugh, my right wrist hurts. I am certainly not looking for it, but I keep waiting for the day when carpal tunnel syndrome rears its ugly head on one, or both, of my wrists.
Speaking of ugly head rearing....I swear, I will never agree to be part of a bridal party again. The one bridesmaid who I anticipated wouldn't do shit is not disappointing. My mother went ahead and planned the bridal shower without really discussing it with anyone else, although to be fair to her, every time we tried to get the phone numbers of the bridal party, we were pretty much ignored. But she was so goddamn determined to book the shower because my cousin's daughter decides to book her wedding a week after my sister's, so my cousin is harassing my mother wanting to know when the shower is. I told her fuck my cousin (who is also my "godmother") and fuck my second cousin. But my mother makes the plans anyway and puts me in the absolute awkward position of having to inform the other bridesmaids that oh my mom planned part of the bridal shower. And now my mother wants to get the invitations out and no one is giving us addresses and she is getting all over me about it. I don't know what to tell her to do! Everyone keeps promising us addresses and no one is providing them to us. Never, ever do I want to do this again.
I started this entry off in a great mood. But now I am getting really freaking cranky because I am freezing my ass off, my mother has been on my ass all day, and I realized something that was supposed to be lighthearted and fun is starting to turn into something I am taking a lot more seriously than I wanted. And it's bugging the hell out of me.
I can't go through it again. I just can't.
I don't understand my brain at all. It's like my brain is working as two different sides. One side lets me know it is ridiculous for something to bother me, but then the other side battles with it. Goddammit, it is really hard to explain something without going into detail. Oh wait, I know a good example- the guy I was head over heels for a couple years ago. I knew deep down I never really had a chance with him and frankly, I didn't know him really all that well. I think I was more in love with an image of him. But I was so freaking devastated to find out he was engaged. And I knew I was being ridiculous and I even said it out loud repeatedly and yet I still could not help bursting into tears whenever I saw him or any wedding stuff. Why did I know I was being ridiculous, but I still reacted irrationally? I have never been able to solve that mystery.
It's absolutely amazing. This is the first New Years in many years I did not end up in my bedroom sobbing after the ball dropped. Brain, whatever is going on up there....keep it up. Please.
I don't remember why I was discussing high blood pressure with someone one day, but it made me think back to the day after I was admitted to the hospital. A nurse came and told me the dietician would be coming and talking with me due to my blood pressure being a little high when I was admitted (they do all kinds of fun shit when you are admitted to a crazy place- temperature, weight, height, BP. Make you strip down to your underwear and shake out your bra and underwear. Yes. Because my method of suicide*, which was spelled out clearly to the crisis counselor, would have fit into any place in my body.). Let's review all of this for a second. I am stressed to the point of being suicidal over the ideation I have MS. I am told I have to "voluntarily" admit myself to a psychiatric hospital for 96 hours (after being told by my therapist at the most a 48 hour hold) or else I will be taken to an ER by a cop and more than likely involuntatily admitted. I had to strip down to my skivvies in front of some cow who I don't know from Adam.
Hm. Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I certainly cannot see any part of that story that would be the reason behind my blood pressure skyrocketing.
*carbon monoxide poisoning by stuffing my car exhaust pipe
My mother has a big mouth. Both Friday and Saturday my sister was around and the four of us went to dinner on Saturday and my mom starts telling me this story about guess where "my girlfriend" went and I demand to know which girlfriend she is referring to and she says Elisabeth Hasselcrack (her being "my girlfriend" is news to me) and apparently she went to Seaside or something and saw Snooki (or something) and then my dad mentions about one of the guys being arrested and my mom goes "oh is that your boyfriend who was arrested?" and my sister goes "who is your boyfriend?! Ronnie?!" and I said "no!" and then she says "who is it? Mike "the Situation"?!" and looks to my mom, who says "I don't know his name" and then my sister says "he was the one on Dancing With The Stars" and my mom goes "oh yes!" and it turned into this whole big fiasco of my sister laughing hysterically and telling me she now can hold this against me whenever I and I quote "make me feel guilty for watching Jersey Shore" and making some comment about how greasy looking he is (which he is. Good God, I saw Durrrsey Shur on one night and it was just him in that side panel thing putting words together and his face was so fucking shiny. I shouldn't laugh at this, but it's fun to laugh at him). I swear to God, she didn't leave me alone about it for about 2 hours. When we got home she was still ribbing me about it and I went off to use the bathroom and all I heard was loud guffawing and when I came out, the new issue of the TV Guide was in my place at the kitchen table and it was opened to the cast picture and she drew a heart above him. I slammed it shut and yelled "oh you can all kiss my ass!". That only made everything worse.
This is exactly why I told my mom to never say anything to her.
Ugh, my right wrist hurts. I am certainly not looking for it, but I keep waiting for the day when carpal tunnel syndrome rears its ugly head on one, or both, of my wrists.
Speaking of ugly head rearing....I swear, I will never agree to be part of a bridal party again. The one bridesmaid who I anticipated wouldn't do shit is not disappointing. My mother went ahead and planned the bridal shower without really discussing it with anyone else, although to be fair to her, every time we tried to get the phone numbers of the bridal party, we were pretty much ignored. But she was so goddamn determined to book the shower because my cousin's daughter decides to book her wedding a week after my sister's, so my cousin is harassing my mother wanting to know when the shower is. I told her fuck my cousin (who is also my "godmother") and fuck my second cousin. But my mother makes the plans anyway and puts me in the absolute awkward position of having to inform the other bridesmaids that oh my mom planned part of the bridal shower. And now my mother wants to get the invitations out and no one is giving us addresses and she is getting all over me about it. I don't know what to tell her to do! Everyone keeps promising us addresses and no one is providing them to us. Never, ever do I want to do this again.
I started this entry off in a great mood. But now I am getting really freaking cranky because I am freezing my ass off, my mother has been on my ass all day, and I realized something that was supposed to be lighthearted and fun is starting to turn into something I am taking a lot more seriously than I wanted. And it's bugging the hell out of me.
I can't go through it again. I just can't.
I don't understand my brain at all. It's like my brain is working as two different sides. One side lets me know it is ridiculous for something to bother me, but then the other side battles with it. Goddammit, it is really hard to explain something without going into detail. Oh wait, I know a good example- the guy I was head over heels for a couple years ago. I knew deep down I never really had a chance with him and frankly, I didn't know him really all that well. I think I was more in love with an image of him. But I was so freaking devastated to find out he was engaged. And I knew I was being ridiculous and I even said it out loud repeatedly and yet I still could not help bursting into tears whenever I saw him or any wedding stuff. Why did I know I was being ridiculous, but I still reacted irrationally? I have never been able to solve that mystery.
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