Random Thoughts

Boy, I love how on rainy days the real nutty drivers come out of the woodwork. Yesterday was a really nasty rainy day and I had to use my horn so many damn times on the way to and from work, it was ridiculous. I was ready to get out of my car at a red light and rip some bitch's head off at one point after she pulled out on top of me without stopping. Why are people so fucking stupid?

For some reason, the bitching about bad drivers made me think back to sometime in April when I was driving to work and I stupidly almost caused an accident. Obviously, I was very shook up and upset because I am usually more careful than that when it comes to left hand turns, so when I got to work, I called my sister up sobbing. Not long after I got off the phone, "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley came on. And you know what? It actually made me feel a little better.

Bob makes everything better, doesn't he?

I don't know what the hell crawled up my mother's ass and died this week (apparently whatever was up mine last week; now I can't stop thinking about that episode of the Fairly Oddparents when the bug that makes Vicky evil escapes and infects everyone else), but I am apparently her punching bag this week. The other night, she didn't feel like cooking so she suggested we put money together and get pizza and right away my dad decides to go with Pizza Hut. I don't want Pizza Hut and since I am paying towards it, I want a vote. I simply say if they want Pizza Hut they can get it themselves and I'll get something else. Immediately she starts freaking out and tells me "you're getting on my nerves". What in the FUCK was the big deal in what I said? They get what they want, I get what I want. What is the problem? Am I missing something here? I don't see what the big deal is in them getting what they want and me getting something else. Oh and then it turns into I am getting on her nerves about my weight. Me not wanting Pizza Hut had nothing (not completely) to do with it being a million calories. I wanted generic pizza.

I was feeling pretty nasty when she started on me and I had to almost bite my tongue completely off to keep from responding to her "you're getting on my nerves" with "well, I can easily stop getting on your nerves now can't I?". God, I hate that. Any time someone pisses me off, my first instinct is always to threaten suicide. I don't know why, other than the fact that I am absolutely bat-shit fucking insane. Do I really mean my threat? Usually no. I think about suicide and death constantly, but with the exception of the time I was on Wellbutrin, I have never actually had any idea or formulated plan of how I would do it. Whenever I think about it, I always think of that line from Girl Interrupted, which I assume is referring to suicide methods:

razors pain you, rivers are damp, acid stains you, drugs cause cramps, gun aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well live

Seriously, sometimes I wish someone would save me the trouble.

Video Of The Day

For some unexplained raisin, I laugh hysterically at this:

Video Of The Day

'Cause I like to secretly dance to it when no one is watching...."My Shiny Teeth And Me":

The WTF Of The Day

Look, I know Wal-Fart is the Antichrist and all, but....THIS:















Look! It enraged me so much, I had to paste the Rageguy meme into the picture!

Seriously? Not one of those "artists" could hold a candle to Mark Masri.

lol- I like how his one album is titles "See My Face". Oh I see it alright. *grrglgrrrrgllgrrgll*

Quote Of The Day

One of my favorite lines from Legally Blonde:

I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't.

Quote Of The Day

One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Cox from Scrubs:

I love this moment so much, I wanna have sex with it.

And a little while later:

This moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments

Now....if I could just find a clip of Elliot's fantasy wedding when she is marrying a robot.

Random Thoughts

*sobs* I can't believe my 4 day weekend is almost over! And then it is back to that place! Blech!

Apparently, I am alone in finding fault in this, but I find it incredibly rude how people in work will order food and not ask everyone if they want any. Once in a blue moon, someone will ask me if I would like to order with them. Even though, most times I have to end up turning them down due to either money, stomach issues, or the place they are ordering from just sucks, it pisses me off when they do not ask everyone. But anymore, I just step back, let my inner vain bitch out, and think well, this is why you look the way you do and this is why they all look the way they do!

I finally got around to downloading "Feel It" by Three 6 Mafia etc and while I was dancing to it last night (I was on a pie high) I thought, you know what would be an absolute delight? If I burned a copy of this to a CD, took it into work, put it in my radio at exactly 9AM (since I cannot miss the Breakfast Club), turned the volume all the way up, and hit play. I am sure the hag who bitches about my music being loud if it goes above 5 decibels would just LOVE it! *cackles*

I just noticed the part "I got stuck like it's the first of the month in the projects just got paid". I lol'd.

I was on the Weird NJ Facebook page the other day and I saw they had a new special edition out about abandoned places and since I practically orgasm over those types of stories, I made it my mission to obtain a copy of it this weekend, so I drug my mom out with me earlier to a Barnes & Noble and at one point, she says to me "look, it's your boyfriend". It was the Situation's book (my mom always jokingly refers to any celebrity crushes I have and any celebrities I hate as my "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"; today was the first day I have actually seen his "book" in person- twice! The first place was in a book store at Columbus Market and then at B&N. Both times I got an uncontrollable urge to take all of the copies and move them into the Horror section, maybe put a few copies in the True Crime section.). I was surprised she knew who he was, so I say "I'm surprised you recognized him". Her response? "I recognized the nose". I lol'd at that. Not his abs. His schnozz.

lol at Michael K's description- "The Situation is coming out with a book, because he won't stop until he gives you an STD through all mediums"

She said "there's your boyfriend" again a little while later when we were in the mall and we had stopped in the calendar store and we were looking at entertainment calendars. I told her I'd only take a calendar of all him and maybe the other 3 guys as well. Nah. I really wouldn't.

I also saw this calendar while I was looking. I laughed for a good 10 minutes.

I don't remember where, but in some interview I had read one time with the Sitch, he said his parents pushed for him to either become a cop or a fireman. A fireman? *head explodes*

You know what the even sadder part of this whole, um, situation is? Even if he was just some random shithead on the street and not a famous shithead, I'd probably still hit it. Thinking back to some of the douchebags I'd have screwed in high school, there are quite a bit of similarities, including the whole being Italian and the massive amounts of douchiness. I was surprised to read in the Men's Fitness article that he was a football player. He puts me more in the mind of a basketball player. Again, most of the douchebags I crushed on were also football players.

Ugh. Apparently, I just have lousy taste in men. Maybe I do have a long time thing for these guido idiots. Well, I can hope my taste in women is a little better than men.

I was on D-Listed earlier and one of the topics, everyone was discussing people who shouldn't be parents and one poster posted every single reason why she would not be a good mother. I don't get why people still get on me for not wanting to be a mother. I would not make a good one. I could stand here and try to convince myself that I would, but I know deep down that I would not. For cripes sake, I made myself soup yesterday and when I opened the cabinet and found that the crackers had been finished off and I had none left for my soup, I got so pissed and threw such a fit, that I almost took the container of oatmeal I had taken out of the closet and threw it across the room. Was it a necessary reaction? Certainly not. And this happens repeatedly.

I never react to things the way I should. I always blow up over the stupidest things. I live in fear everyday that one of these days someone is really going to push my buttons and I am going to physically hurt someone. I have never physically gone after someone else (generally when I am angry, it's me I hurt), but I am so scared that one of these days I am going to.

I need anger management. BAD.

Video Of The Day

A wrong, but hilarious sounding Count:



(If I could only explain how long I have been looking for a clip of this)

Fun With Google Suggestions

I was simplying Googling if Coldplay would ever release a greatest hits CD and Google offered me their suggestions and this (the one with the red arrow next to it) made me laugh:














Coldplay is not the only satanic thing around:














Google is apparently a lot of things:















Including dead:
















And the grand prize winner....

Quote Of The Day

Peter's call out of work excuse from "Mr. Griffin Goes To Washington":

Mr. Weed? It's Peter Griffin. I can't come to work today. I was in a terrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable. I'll see you tomorrow.

Whether that is the correct quote or not is beyond me. Finding exact quotes on the internet when you do not have the actual episode in front of you is almost impossible. Anyway, that is a brilliant excuse, although not as brilliant as his response when he is caught by Mr. Weed:

Oh, yeah, yeah, that plane crash I told you about? It turned out to be gas.