It's extremely difficult, but I'm doing everything in my power to keep it together. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this and plenty of people are with me in being scared, but for those of us with any type of mental illness, it's unbearable. A month ago, worrying that I had H. pylori and/or peptic ulcers....that pales in comparison to this. I honestly would take it over worrying about Covid-19.
Every time I feel a little less than stellar, I'm on high alert. My throat has been tickling me for the past few days and I'm panicking over it. Any body ache, nausea, fatigue etc is an invitation to meltdown time. I'm constantly taking my temperature. I was in work earlier and I felt crappy and all I kept thinking was I need to take my temperature. Except I had no thermometer. I had to do everything in my power to keep from having a complete and utter meltdown. Washing, sanitizing, Lysoling, Chlorox wiping....and it's just NEVER enough to give me somewhat of a peace of mind. Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Am I doing it right?
It's all so fucking exhausting. The only thing I have no complaint about this all is the whole social distancing thing. It's a blessing and a half when you're socially anxious weirdo.
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