The Stupid Of The Day

Adam Levine Slammed On Social Media After He Says ‘There Aren’t Bands Anymore’

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Song Of The Day

Another song courtesy of WMMR that's become a favorite:

Random Thoughts

Two weeks since my second dose and what do you know? I'm still alive. I didn't die. I didn't turn into a zombie. I didn't become a slave to Bill Gates a la the robots to Mom in the "Mother's Day" episode of Futurama. My children didn't turn gay or trans. I don't have kids, but that's not important right now. 

Another weekend almost over. I feel like it's no sooner 4:30 on a Friday and in the blink of an eye it's Sunday and almost time to go back to work. By dinner time on Saturday night I start getting this overwhelming feeling of the blues about the weekend being almost over. I look forward to my [boring] Saturday routine so much that when it's over, it depresses me. Sometimes I swear it's the only thing that gets me through the week.

The song "The End of the World" by Skeeter Davis just came on in my iTunes playlist. I knew that song long before I ever saw Girl, Interrupted, but ever since that movie, I cannot listen to that song without thinking of Susanna finding Daisy after she hangs herself. That scene still haunts me to this day. I love that movie, but I guess with having mental issues of my own, sometimes I have a hard time watching it. It leaves me feeling kind of unsettled sometimes when I watch it. I don't really know why.

Song Of The Day

I've always heard of the band Godsmack, but I've never actually heard any of their songs. I've been listening to WMMR a lot lately and have finally heard some of their music. This song just freaking ROCKS:

Huzzah!

Well, folks, I'm officially vaccinated. Except for a fairly sore arm, I'm feeling okay. How I'll feel later on or tomorrow might be a horse of another color.

ETA 2/13: I'm not feeling terrible, but I can't say I am feeling great. I have a strange headache, keep getting periodic body aches, and keep getting hot flashes. It's nothing too disruptive but still unpleasant.

EEEEEK

Four more days until I get my booster shot. I've heard that the second one can be a lot more brutal, so I'm prepping myself for possibly feeling like crap. At least I'll have the weekend to ride it out. 

That is, if the stupid weather cooperates, since there's talk of snow from Wednesday through Friday. For the love of God, this past couple of weeks has been brutal. I don't mind shoveling, and I consider myself to be relatively in good shape, but there's only so much shoveling a 5'3, 120 some pound girl can take. Especially when it's not light fluffy snow, but that heavy wet snow. I spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon shoveling, and I could barely move the rest of the night from being so stiff and sore. My back is no longer in the greatest of shape and all of this shoveling isn't helping by any means. 

But I'm going off topic here. NO MORE SNOW THIS WEEK! I want my second shot!

Song Of The Day

I've been super enjoying this song lately, not quite sure why:

Love Stinks (Yeah Yeah)

I have a year subscription to Readers Digest and in the most recent issue, there was a story from a teacher about a humiliating Valentine's Day experience, and it got me thinking about embarrassing "love" situations in my own life. None of them might seem that bad, but you have to remember that my self-esteem is practically non-existent and pretty much always has been, so these things did quite a bit.

There's the infamous Drew, who made my sixth grade experience a miserable one. But the thing is, he actually liked me in the beginning and asked me out. And I said yes. And then I am not real clear anymore what happened, I think I called a friend of his an asshole after he started making trouble, and Drew told me it was over. I was like well, okay. And then the rest of the year turned into being called a fat fuck, other names involving "fat" in them, being yelled at if I even looked over his way, being sexually harassed, having to hear him singing "Dude Looks Like A Lady" any time he saw me walking down the hallway, etc.

That same year, I developed a major crush on this kid Mark. And I was on somewhat good terms with a friend of his. And he supposedly went over one day while we were at our lockers and asked Mark if he would go out with me, and I saw him shake his head no. I was pretty crushed. But according to this friend of his, he supposedly made a rather not nice remark about me at some point, but he wouldn't tell me it was, so I am going to assume it must have been pretty nasty.

Then my first year in marching band, when I was a junior, a senior bandie named Scott wanted to go out with me. And I said yes. After a few weeks, it wasn't going anywhere, and one night he tells me he is so busy with his classes and getting ready for college and doesn't really have time to have a girlfriend. So we agreed to just not go out anymore. Only for him to ask a freshman named Barbara (another fellow bandie) out a few days later. Later he went around telling everyone that HE broke up with ME because and I quote he's an extrovert, and I was an introvert. Gee, Einstein if my being an introvert wasn't EXTREMELY obvious from the beginning, then that's on you! Pretty sure people on the International Space Station can see it.

The good things that came out of it- after "breaking up"and then asking this other girl out, a friend of mine threw a shoe at his head. Barbara and I became pretty good friends after they broke up. And then he went on to another girl who he later knocked up, and if I recall correctly, dumped her as well.

Then my senior year I had a crush on a freshman bandie named Ellis. A friend of his went and opened his big mouth to him that I had a crush on him and one day he starts talking to me and telling me pretty nastily that he wasn't interested in me. And then he asked a friend of mine Amber out. We had a band dance not long after that. He made sure every time he was dancing with her to do it right in front of me. Even if I moved across the room, he followed with her. It amazes me to this day that such a scrawny little dork thought so highly of himself. Let me just point out now that when people said he looked like Lock without his mask from the Nightmare Before Christmas, I totally see it now and have to ask myself WTF I was on.

Then there's a long string of guys engaging with me online. One guy responded with "that seems kind of fat" after asking my weight. Another guy accused me of being racist after I said I wasn't interested (it was his age, not his race. How could I be racist against someone if I have no idea what they even look like or what race they are??). And many others who disappeared any time any mention of my mental issues popped up.

On another note- we had a new girl start some time after the New Year. She always comes in wearing a mask. Then this past Friday she took lunch with my FWA, my manager, and another girl. I didn't see her wearing a mask the rest of the afternoon. So now we'll probably have another maskless idiot walking around the office.  I love the picking and choosing of wearing a mask. It doesn't matter if you put a mask when certain people are around you. When I go into my manager's office, she'll put a mask on. I don't understand what these people don't understand. You already sat there maskless, expelling all your nasty germ-filled particles out into the air before another person came over. They're not just going to disappear, they're going to linger!

I swear to God, sometimes I just really cannot deal with the world anymore.

Song Of The Day

 I never thought I'd come to like a song by the Weeknd.....but here we are:

Random Thoughts

I was driving home from work the other day and "The Speed of Sound" by Coldplay came on and was hit with a gut punching realization that this January 13th was 15 years since I was in the hospital. Fifteen years! And I still feel like it was just yesterday. And every time I think of being in there, I just don't even know how to handle it. It was such a disgustingly dark time in my life that I can't seem to ever shake.

And today while I was driving home, that old Jon Secada song "Just Another Day Without You" came on and it made me feel so depressed. I do like the song, don't get me wrong, but it's just so damn depressing.

I know I need to be patient, but between work and all these new variants, I can't get my second shot soon enough. And I know there's probably no point in dwelling over it- oh hell, give me a break. If you don't know I dwell over everything by now, then I don't know what to tell you. Not to mention I come from a long line of dwellers. But it just seriously pisses me off that my coworkers walk around with no masks. And although I am pretty much by myself most of the time, people do have to come back to use the scanner and they're far too close to me for my liking, even though it is probably at least six feet away from me. But no masks, folks!

And my FWA is the most annoying. Because not only does she come back with no mask, but she'll come back to scan shit and as soon as it starts, she whips out her phone and starts to play on it. And her shit will finish scanning. And she'll sit there and sit there and sit there, completely absorbed in her phone until I am ready to scream BITCH YOUR SHIT IS DONE. Just scan it and get the hell away from me