Sundays always get me fired up, especially to complain about work.
I try to be accepting of other people when they vote for the opposite party as me, but this election has made it very hard, if not next to impossible. I really and truly do not understand the mindset of Trump supporters, how anyone can possible like that horrible arrogant pompous buffoon.
I only knew of two people in work who I was almost definite were voting for the asshole (our most senior employee and totally not surprisingly the miserable old troll). I knew the one who talks a lot was voting for Hilary, the rest of the office I don't know. And not surprisingly my FWA didn't vote at all. But apparently the one who claims to tell it like it is must have voted for him. Which shouldn't really surprise me either, considering she's a pompous buffoon who puts herself so high up on a pedestal she must get constant nosebleeds and her husband is a creepy-looking pompous buffoon who is "nothing but a lazy Jew" (her words, not mine- hence the quotes). He's also a cop and apparently a lot of them endorsed Trump, I'm guessing. And it's probably evil to say, even for me, but he looks like one of those cops who shoots someone for solely being a minority.
Anyway, she was talking about the police unity tour thing her husband does every year and the conversation was nice and neutral (although irritatingly loud considering she can never talk at any volume lower than about 90 decibels). Then all of a sudden it turned into the tour should go fine as long as the marching and protesting are over by then. Then the miserable old troll had to voice her opinion on that. And then the former mentions that Trump is supposed to come to the tour and then has to point how Obama never, EVER offered to come to it. And the MOT goes "oh of course!" and then makes some comment about how he never even addressed all of the police shootings. And funny thing is, the former said one day a while back that her son wanted to vote for Trump and she hollered at him, asking him if he was stupid, so I don't know where the sudden change of heart came from.
But oh god forbid, Obama never offered to come! I wasn't aware that she was with him every moment of the day to know that! Maybe he did! Maybe he didn't even know about it! I certainly never heard of it until I started working there. Or maybe he just wasn't the narcissistic jackass that Trump is with a mission to constantly make himself look good. And have any other presidents ever offered to come? I kept my mouth shut during the whole conversation, because I do not think politics belong in the workplace, but wish I would have though to ask that.
One day the one who talks a lot was being extra talkative and it was really getting under my skin and I mentioned something to my FWA about it. And the conversation was going semi-okay, but in the grand tradition of things, it couldn't go without her turning it around to herself. She says she doesn't even want to imagine how much she'll get on her nerves when she gets pregnant again, because everyone got on her nerves when she was pregnant (welcome to our world, sweetheart!). Oh, and she and her boyfriend are trying for another baby. I felt like holding my hand up and saying stop right there sweetheart, let's get a few things straight here- one, this has absolutely nothing to do with what we are talking about; two I know how babies are made and I don't need to know that your nasty ass and your boyfriend's fat nasty ass are having sex; three, please don't have anymore kids; and four, frankly I don't care.
It's sad when you have to go to bed every night hoping you'll have a heart attack or stroke just so you don't have to go back to your workplace. Why I ever thought working in a small office was a good idea, I have no idea.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Random Thoughts
Wow, I'm really starting to slack anymore. Since I have last posted:
- I did end up having to attend the deposition. It was a huge waste of my time, although at least I was still paid. Judging by the questions I was asked, if this is what is being taught in law school, good God. The best part was when her attorney asked me what day of the week did the accident happen and I said a Friday. Kind of threw all of the attorneys in a tizzy. Apparently the accident report had the day before. I'm unsure of a lot of things but I'm 99.99% sure that ice storm happened on a Friday, even came home that day and pulled up weather archives, which said freezing rain happened on Friday January 10th. Now the date could have been an honest mistake on her part. But someone else wasn't doing their research and fact checking. I even went back to previous posts on here and sure enough, it definitely sounded like it happened on a Friday.
- The tooth behind my root canaled one was starting to really give me trouble a few weeks again. I ended up having to have another root canal. Yay me. I had it done at another office this time. Apparently my dental office doesn't refer to the other place anymore. Not sure why, but I'd certainly like to know. The dentist at first seemed hesitant on doing it because I suck so much at describing my symptoms but once he went in the tooth, he said oh I definitely would have needed it at some point. Pretty sure I heard him say I had irreversible pulpitis. And he confirmed the crack in my tooth. I was pretty annoyed though when he looked at my x-rays and said one of my canals in my first root canaled tooth wasn't fully filled and he wants to keep an eye on it. Why was it not done properly in the first place? It wasn't like some general dentist did it, an endodontist did it. It should have been done properly! And if there was an issue, then I should have been told about it, although for all I know, I very well could have been, but since I could barely understand a word she said, who knows?
And that's really been it. Not much has changed. A month later, I'm still feeling blue from the holidays, I still wish I'd get hit by a tractor trailer on the way to work. There are just no words to describe how much my coworkers get under my skin. And this manager needs a reality check. I don't how the fuck she's ever had managerial positions before, because she's a piss poor excuse for one. I can understand having good relations with your employees, but she is way too fucking chummy with people. Especially my FWA. Again- I really and truly don't understand how anyone tolerates my FWA. Even just sitting there doing nothing I want to punch her in the face.
It's weird- I feel so goddamn stupid all of the time and my job makes me feel really inadequate and yet I feel like I deserve better. I basically feel like I'm lowering myself and settling working in this office. There's no kind of incentive in that office. No promotions, no ladder, nothing. And despite how stupid I feel, I feel like I can, and should, make something much better of myself.
I've been following the Weather Channel off and on today, because even though it doesn't affect my area, I'm interested in following the severe weather coverage. All the years I've been reading the Storm Prediction Center, I think only two or three (give or take, I can't remember) times I've seen a high risk day. Especially in the winter months. And I know the last time I was on there, all three of the tornado watches that were in affect were PDS. Scary, scary shit.
And one more thing- after this weekend, I'm so proud of my gender, despite the fact that it's 2017 and we should not have to be marching demanding equality and rights. I also love how on Facebook every single time I see someone criticizing the women's marches, it's always a man.
- I did end up having to attend the deposition. It was a huge waste of my time, although at least I was still paid. Judging by the questions I was asked, if this is what is being taught in law school, good God. The best part was when her attorney asked me what day of the week did the accident happen and I said a Friday. Kind of threw all of the attorneys in a tizzy. Apparently the accident report had the day before. I'm unsure of a lot of things but I'm 99.99% sure that ice storm happened on a Friday, even came home that day and pulled up weather archives, which said freezing rain happened on Friday January 10th. Now the date could have been an honest mistake on her part. But someone else wasn't doing their research and fact checking. I even went back to previous posts on here and sure enough, it definitely sounded like it happened on a Friday.
- The tooth behind my root canaled one was starting to really give me trouble a few weeks again. I ended up having to have another root canal. Yay me. I had it done at another office this time. Apparently my dental office doesn't refer to the other place anymore. Not sure why, but I'd certainly like to know. The dentist at first seemed hesitant on doing it because I suck so much at describing my symptoms but once he went in the tooth, he said oh I definitely would have needed it at some point. Pretty sure I heard him say I had irreversible pulpitis. And he confirmed the crack in my tooth. I was pretty annoyed though when he looked at my x-rays and said one of my canals in my first root canaled tooth wasn't fully filled and he wants to keep an eye on it. Why was it not done properly in the first place? It wasn't like some general dentist did it, an endodontist did it. It should have been done properly! And if there was an issue, then I should have been told about it, although for all I know, I very well could have been, but since I could barely understand a word she said, who knows?
And that's really been it. Not much has changed. A month later, I'm still feeling blue from the holidays, I still wish I'd get hit by a tractor trailer on the way to work. There are just no words to describe how much my coworkers get under my skin. And this manager needs a reality check. I don't how the fuck she's ever had managerial positions before, because she's a piss poor excuse for one. I can understand having good relations with your employees, but she is way too fucking chummy with people. Especially my FWA. Again- I really and truly don't understand how anyone tolerates my FWA. Even just sitting there doing nothing I want to punch her in the face.
It's weird- I feel so goddamn stupid all of the time and my job makes me feel really inadequate and yet I feel like I deserve better. I basically feel like I'm lowering myself and settling working in this office. There's no kind of incentive in that office. No promotions, no ladder, nothing. And despite how stupid I feel, I feel like I can, and should, make something much better of myself.
I've been following the Weather Channel off and on today, because even though it doesn't affect my area, I'm interested in following the severe weather coverage. All the years I've been reading the Storm Prediction Center, I think only two or three (give or take, I can't remember) times I've seen a high risk day. Especially in the winter months. And I know the last time I was on there, all three of the tornado watches that were in affect were PDS. Scary, scary shit.
And one more thing- after this weekend, I'm so proud of my gender, despite the fact that it's 2017 and we should not have to be marching demanding equality and rights. I also love how on Facebook every single time I see someone criticizing the women's marches, it's always a man.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Random Thoughts
Five days later....still reeling from the election.
I cannot believe this man is going to be our president. And even more I cannot believe the amount of idiots I know who voted for him. And so many are men with daughters. How would they feel if someone talked about their daughters the way Trump talked about women in that video? Oh I bet that would be a a whole other story. I'm so glad they can look past his blatant disrespect for women, minorities, religions, etc in general. Then again, with the amount of hatred I see being spewed on Facebook since the election, it really should not surprise me.
You never really know people until you friend them on Facebook.
Was I particularly happy that Clinton was our candidate? Not necessarily. I voted for the Bernster in the primaries. And I understand that a lot of his supporters were pissed about the whole DNC thing, because it was bull. But I would be damned if I voted for Trump.
Red president, red House, red Senate....I don't want to be a woman right now.
I'm not looking forward to this week in work, thanks to my manager allowing my FWA to have off the entire week. When I left work in Thursday, the workload wasn't looking so good. There was still quite a bit that needed to be done. I had off Friday, so I don't know how much work got done. I dread what I'm going into tomorrow. I swear, if I have to do any overtime this week, while my wallet will appreciate it with the holidays right around the corner, I will be beyond pissed off.
If I could ever have off and go back to work feeling relaxed, it would be a fucking miracle.
I cannot believe this man is going to be our president. And even more I cannot believe the amount of idiots I know who voted for him. And so many are men with daughters. How would they feel if someone talked about their daughters the way Trump talked about women in that video? Oh I bet that would be a a whole other story. I'm so glad they can look past his blatant disrespect for women, minorities, religions, etc in general. Then again, with the amount of hatred I see being spewed on Facebook since the election, it really should not surprise me.
You never really know people until you friend them on Facebook.
Was I particularly happy that Clinton was our candidate? Not necessarily. I voted for the Bernster in the primaries. And I understand that a lot of his supporters were pissed about the whole DNC thing, because it was bull. But I would be damned if I voted for Trump.
Red president, red House, red Senate....I don't want to be a woman right now.
I'm not looking forward to this week in work, thanks to my manager allowing my FWA to have off the entire week. When I left work in Thursday, the workload wasn't looking so good. There was still quite a bit that needed to be done. I had off Friday, so I don't know how much work got done. I dread what I'm going into tomorrow. I swear, if I have to do any overtime this week, while my wallet will appreciate it with the holidays right around the corner, I will be beyond pissed off.
If I could ever have off and go back to work feeling relaxed, it would be a fucking miracle.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Friday, November 4, 2016
Random Thoughts
When I got the email regarding the deposition, it mentioned that the lawyer representing our company wanted to meet with me. So I emailed him with my availability and he responded back that me he'd get back to me. Time went on and I never heard a response. We were having system issues so I started to worry that maybe I didn't get the email. Then last Friday I get an email informing me the deposition was canceled. I nearly peed my pants in excitement. Unfortunately my excitement was short lived, for Monday morning came along with an email informing me the deposition was rescheduled to December.
I really don't want to have to do this. And while I appreciate people telling me to just tell what I know, what I plan out saying in my head doesn't always end up coming out of my mouth. Talking to people, especially people I don't know and especially people of a significant position, makes me so unbearably nervous and anxious that anything coming from my head to my mouth tends to get all kinds of fucked up. Public speaking, or at the rate I'm going speaking in general, is definitely not my forte. If I was ever forced to take a public speaking class, I'd say just give me an F.
I feel like I'm saying this a lot anymore, but something has really been up my butt lately. I'm so fucking cranky and irritable and my concentration levels are nil. I'm tired of being bloated and constipated. I have a tooth bothering me. My coworkers are getting on my last nerve.
Especially my FWA. Her stupidity and arrogance is getting under my skin so bad I just want to slap her across the face every time I look at her. She is going to have off a whole week this month. I'd love to know how she even has the time, although I do recall her saying to me one time that she was going to have a week off and she would only be going in to the new year negative so many days. A day or two or something. But still- just because you can means you should?
It would be nice if one day any of the managers decided to pull her head out of her ass and stopped coddling this bitch, although considering she is 31 years old, they shouldn't have to. She should know better at her age. But no, everyone just pampers her.
And the stupid cow will call out for the stupidest reasons, but now she is actually legitimately sick and won't call out. Probably because then she'd have to give up some of her vacation. So instead she's in work hacking and spreading her germs all over the fucking place. Because fuck everyone else if they get sick as long as she still gets her undeserved vacation. Because nothing matters to her but her and her only.
I really don't want to have to do this. And while I appreciate people telling me to just tell what I know, what I plan out saying in my head doesn't always end up coming out of my mouth. Talking to people, especially people I don't know and especially people of a significant position, makes me so unbearably nervous and anxious that anything coming from my head to my mouth tends to get all kinds of fucked up. Public speaking, or at the rate I'm going speaking in general, is definitely not my forte. If I was ever forced to take a public speaking class, I'd say just give me an F.
I feel like I'm saying this a lot anymore, but something has really been up my butt lately. I'm so fucking cranky and irritable and my concentration levels are nil. I'm tired of being bloated and constipated. I have a tooth bothering me. My coworkers are getting on my last nerve.
Especially my FWA. Her stupidity and arrogance is getting under my skin so bad I just want to slap her across the face every time I look at her. She is going to have off a whole week this month. I'd love to know how she even has the time, although I do recall her saying to me one time that she was going to have a week off and she would only be going in to the new year negative so many days. A day or two or something. But still- just because you can means you should?
It would be nice if one day any of the managers decided to pull her head out of her ass and stopped coddling this bitch, although considering she is 31 years old, they shouldn't have to. She should know better at her age. But no, everyone just pampers her.
And the stupid cow will call out for the stupidest reasons, but now she is actually legitimately sick and won't call out. Probably because then she'd have to give up some of her vacation. So instead she's in work hacking and spreading her germs all over the fucking place. Because fuck everyone else if they get sick as long as she still gets her undeserved vacation. Because nothing matters to her but her and her only.
Friday, October 14, 2016
Random Thoughts
So Tuesday I'm going about my business at work, not having too bad of a day, when I see the little Outlook email preview pop up in the lower right side of my screen. I open up the email and it's from our legal team. I'm apparently being summonsed for a deposition in November regarding our former temp who slipped and fell in the parking lot. I received the email about 10 minutes before I was clocking out for lunch. And I spent that entire 10 minutes shaking on the inside and doing everything in my power to not completely lose it.
I can't believe that this frivolous crap has even gotten this far. And me have to speak in front of fucking lawyers? This should go just wonderfully, considering I am as good at public speaking as Donald Trump is at not being a complete misogynistic pig.
I can't believe that this frivolous crap has even gotten this far. And me have to speak in front of fucking lawyers? This should go just wonderfully, considering I am as good at public speaking as Donald Trump is at not being a complete misogynistic pig.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Random Thoughts
I realized over the weekend that my three year anniversary at that place is coming soon. God bless me for making it that long. I don't know how I have done it, except for the fact that as I said before, I am really no better than my coworkers and stick around because there's stuff I get away with there that would not fly at other places, except unlike my coworkers, mine still involves my actual job. They won't leave because they know they won't get away with coming in or coming back from lunch whenever they feel like it (e.g. my FWA), taking numerous smoke breaks, vaping in the office, standing around bullshitting for large amounts of times, house or clothes surfing on the internet (again, my FWA), multiple personal calls (guess who)....the list goes on.
And now I get to do it all over again! And our most senior employee is on vacation this week, so it should really be a fun week. Listening to the radio all day (e.g. hearing the same shit over and over and over again), more talking, etc. Yay! I can't freaking wait.
I've been taking those Nature Made probiotics for over a week now. I don't feel like I've been as bloated feeling as usual, but so far they're doing nothing for the constipation and irregularity issue. I know probiotics can take some time to kick in, so I'll at least give them another week and decide where to go from there. I'm also considering adding the acidophilus that I've been taking for years back into the mix. All this having to play around with medications is a real pain in the ass. Intestines! Why can't you just function properly?!
Against my better wishes, I went to the local diner for dinner. And just as we were finishing up, who ends up being seated at the table caddy corner to us? The kid I went to school with. The one who two years ago I was repulsed at seeing. Can't say I felt much different tonight.
My God, there is a special place in hell for me.
And now I get to do it all over again! And our most senior employee is on vacation this week, so it should really be a fun week. Listening to the radio all day (e.g. hearing the same shit over and over and over again), more talking, etc. Yay! I can't freaking wait.
I've been taking those Nature Made probiotics for over a week now. I don't feel like I've been as bloated feeling as usual, but so far they're doing nothing for the constipation and irregularity issue. I know probiotics can take some time to kick in, so I'll at least give them another week and decide where to go from there. I'm also considering adding the acidophilus that I've been taking for years back into the mix. All this having to play around with medications is a real pain in the ass. Intestines! Why can't you just function properly?!
Against my better wishes, I went to the local diner for dinner. And just as we were finishing up, who ends up being seated at the table caddy corner to us? The kid I went to school with. The one who two years ago I was repulsed at seeing. Can't say I felt much different tonight.
My God, there is a special place in hell for me.
Monday, September 5, 2016
Random Thoughts
Well that was unsurprisingly a quick 3 days off. Quick summer as well. Boo. I was always one to look forward to the end of summer and the start of fall. Now I hate when summer ends. And I think it has to do with 5 years ago when I was going through such a rough time and then ended up being laid off on top of it. My mental state was really not in a good place then and I think I have been subconsciously associating that with fall since then.
I had no one to do anything with last night so I just did my own thing. Went to Popeye's like last time. I was in there with my book and 3 old people. Then I ran to a few stores and came home and at in front of the boob tube and read. It was depressing as fuck. I felt like going and buying a gun and blowing my brains out. Still feeling like that, actually. More so because I have to go back to work. And because of visions of horrible things happening playing nonstop in my head. I swear to God some days when they're really bad I want to take an ice pick and jam it up my fucking nose.
And to make my suicidal thoughts more depressing....it's apparently National Suicide Prevention week. I saw that earlier and thought, Jesus that would be fucking ironic.
I'm beyond frustrated with this bloating and left lower abdominal distention. Every time I put my pants on I want to cry because they feel so tight on me. I'm so disgusted with myself and disgusted with myself for starting to think I'm fat again. I really should go to the doctor and request an abdominal CT scan. That way it could show the digestive system and female organs. An ultrasound wouldn't do much for me unless there is definitely something going on in my women parts.
I bought Nature Made Advanced Dual Action probiotics the other day. I haven't tried them yet, as I am still finishing up the last few of my usual probiotics. I hope they do something good, though.
Anyway, I am currently reading Robopocalypse by Daniel Wilson. I had bought a copy of Amped in the Dollar Tree back in July and I was very interested in it and then I read some reviews on Robo and thought it sounded intestesing, so I checked it out of my local library. I am simultaneously fascinated and freaked out by it. Definitely enforces my belief that technology is great until it malfunctions. It also makes me think of the "Mother's Day" episode of Futurama. Hey Hey! Ho Ho! 100110!
I had no one to do anything with last night so I just did my own thing. Went to Popeye's like last time. I was in there with my book and 3 old people. Then I ran to a few stores and came home and at in front of the boob tube and read. It was depressing as fuck. I felt like going and buying a gun and blowing my brains out. Still feeling like that, actually. More so because I have to go back to work. And because of visions of horrible things happening playing nonstop in my head. I swear to God some days when they're really bad I want to take an ice pick and jam it up my fucking nose.
And to make my suicidal thoughts more depressing....it's apparently National Suicide Prevention week. I saw that earlier and thought, Jesus that would be fucking ironic.
I'm beyond frustrated with this bloating and left lower abdominal distention. Every time I put my pants on I want to cry because they feel so tight on me. I'm so disgusted with myself and disgusted with myself for starting to think I'm fat again. I really should go to the doctor and request an abdominal CT scan. That way it could show the digestive system and female organs. An ultrasound wouldn't do much for me unless there is definitely something going on in my women parts.
I bought Nature Made Advanced Dual Action probiotics the other day. I haven't tried them yet, as I am still finishing up the last few of my usual probiotics. I hope they do something good, though.
Anyway, I am currently reading Robopocalypse by Daniel Wilson. I had bought a copy of Amped in the Dollar Tree back in July and I was very interested in it and then I read some reviews on Robo and thought it sounded intestesing, so I checked it out of my local library. I am simultaneously fascinated and freaked out by it. Definitely enforces my belief that technology is great until it malfunctions. It also makes me think of the "Mother's Day" episode of Futurama. Hey Hey! Ho Ho! 100110!
Sunday, September 4, 2016
Random Thoughts
I should just stay off Facebook today. Today is the 2nd of 3 weddings for my bitchy cousins (for some reason, all 3 of them had to get engaged around the same time). And of course Hermine decided not to pack a punch and it's a beautiful day out. Of course.
This particular cousin I never really had a problem with until one time we were at a family function and she was going around giving everyone at our table a hug and kiss and just as she was coming up to me, someone came up to her and she walked away with them. I can't even describe how I felt after that. And she really hit my shit list when I contacted her through FB messaging about whether she was coming to my sister's baby shower or not and she blatantly ignored me. And I know she read the message, too. People seem to forget that FB messaging marks when you read messages. Never called, didn't show up, nothing. Didn't respond or show up to my nephew's first birthday either. Bitch, my family has bent over ass backwards multiple times for all of your stupid affairs! You couldn't even once return the favor?!
I often complain about my coworkers and how they bitch and moan about how much they hate it there and I always says that the only reason they're all still there is because they know at any other place they wouldn't get away with the shit they get away with there. And then I thought one day, where the fuck am I any better? I've admitted many times before that the only reasons I stay there are because of the pay and because no one condemns my slow ass and my extreme phone phobia is catered to (although to be fair, no one really deals with phones there anymore). Plus it's close to home. Still, though, where am I any better? I'm really not.
Boy, I woke up in rare form today.
This particular cousin I never really had a problem with until one time we were at a family function and she was going around giving everyone at our table a hug and kiss and just as she was coming up to me, someone came up to her and she walked away with them. I can't even describe how I felt after that. And she really hit my shit list when I contacted her through FB messaging about whether she was coming to my sister's baby shower or not and she blatantly ignored me. And I know she read the message, too. People seem to forget that FB messaging marks when you read messages. Never called, didn't show up, nothing. Didn't respond or show up to my nephew's first birthday either. Bitch, my family has bent over ass backwards multiple times for all of your stupid affairs! You couldn't even once return the favor?!
I often complain about my coworkers and how they bitch and moan about how much they hate it there and I always says that the only reason they're all still there is because they know at any other place they wouldn't get away with the shit they get away with there. And then I thought one day, where the fuck am I any better? I've admitted many times before that the only reasons I stay there are because of the pay and because no one condemns my slow ass and my extreme phone phobia is catered to (although to be fair, no one really deals with phones there anymore). Plus it's close to home. Still, though, where am I any better? I'm really not.
Boy, I woke up in rare form today.
Friday, September 2, 2016
Random Thoughts
Ah, finally a three-day weekend again! And tropical storm (as of now) Hermine is heading our way! I don't know yet exactly how bad we're supposed to get hit, but I'm already stressed over it and worrying about any tornado watches, warnings, power outages, etc. ARGH!
Oh, well. Still better than being in work. As usual I have 50 bazillion things I could complain about regarding that place, but frankly....I just don't feel like it.
Oh, well. Still better than being in work. As usual I have 50 bazillion things I could complain about regarding that place, but frankly....I just don't feel like it.
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