I don't know why I have been loving this song so much lately:
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Video Of The Day
Another song I know strictly from Radio 104.5...."Letters From The Sky" by Civil Twilight:
Such a sad song. If someone wants to bring me to my knees and howl, play the part when he wails "only here" (2:07). More times than I can count have I bawled to that part.
Such a sad song. If someone wants to bring me to my knees and howl, play the part when he wails "only here" (2:07). More times than I can count have I bawled to that part.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Random Thoughts
Finally it is Friday again!
I have had such an irritating day, I could scream. It seemed like almost everything I attempted to do today malfunctioned or was just plain wrong. The scanner stopped working at one point and wasn't being read by my computer and I thought oh holy day! It's finally happened! The poor thing finally burned out. But I got it working again. Then my keyboard stopped working at one point and I had to restart my computer and it was fine. And a whole host of other shit happened.
But the ultimate came after lunch, when I did something so monumentally stupid I cannot even bring myself to mention what I did because every time I think of my stupidity, I want to scream. I can finally say I understand what people mean when they want the earth to open up and swallow them. And I am so mortified by my stupidity, I cannot even bring myself to talk to someone about it, even though I need to, although if my friend Sam didn't drop off the face of the earth, I certainly would have came home and immediately pounded out an email to him about it.
It has been over a year since I heard from him and it is still bugging the shit out of me of what happened to him. Did I do something wrong? Did something happen to him? I don't know, I more than likely will never know, it annoys me not knowing, and it annoys me even more knowing that I probably never will know what ever happend with him.
I have had such an irritating day, I could scream. It seemed like almost everything I attempted to do today malfunctioned or was just plain wrong. The scanner stopped working at one point and wasn't being read by my computer and I thought oh holy day! It's finally happened! The poor thing finally burned out. But I got it working again. Then my keyboard stopped working at one point and I had to restart my computer and it was fine. And a whole host of other shit happened.
But the ultimate came after lunch, when I did something so monumentally stupid I cannot even bring myself to mention what I did because every time I think of my stupidity, I want to scream. I can finally say I understand what people mean when they want the earth to open up and swallow them. And I am so mortified by my stupidity, I cannot even bring myself to talk to someone about it, even though I need to, although if my friend Sam didn't drop off the face of the earth, I certainly would have came home and immediately pounded out an email to him about it.
It has been over a year since I heard from him and it is still bugging the shit out of me of what happened to him. Did I do something wrong? Did something happen to him? I don't know, I more than likely will never know, it annoys me not knowing, and it annoys me even more knowing that I probably never will know what ever happend with him.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Random Thoughts
I am so sick and tired of snow, I could scream! Wasn't last winter enough, for God's sake?
We had a pretty hefty snowstorm last night. The news said we received like 9 inches of snow or something, but judging by what I (and my parents) spent 4 hours shoveling, it was more than a foot. And it was such a big old mess, I had no choice but to call out of work.
I was doing some research on slow transit constipation earlier, because apparently that is what I have been diagnosed with as of now, until maybe one of these days I can get a colonoscopy, where nothing will be found and I will just be slapped with the vague generic diagnosis of IBS, and a lot of people have had surgery for it. And I was absolutely horrified at some of the shit I was reading. I'd say on almost every webpage almost every person who has said surgery sang praises of it despite all of the complications and you know what? That is still not enough for me to ever consider it. I might be miserable now with a malfunctioning digestive system (my stomach produces too much acid, my intestines produce too little crap), but would I exchange that for whatever side effects and complications of a partial or total colectomy? No fucking thank you.
I am just beyond fed up with this. We all know I have serious self-image problems and when my stomach acts up, it shows up on the scale. This morning I was 2 or 3 pounds heavier than Saturday and I know damn well I have not eaten bad enough to gain that much weight. And despite knowing that when my stomach acts up, it affects my weight and more than likely is not true weight gain, I still freak out and panic that I gained actual weight. Which is what I am doing now. I am absolutely bugging out at what the scale said. I can't take this. And to make matter worse, I am becoming a slave to the scale. I am getting on about 2 times a day and even knowing that weight flucuates, the illogical part of my brain still causes me to flip out. Just like what I talked about here in the last paragraph. There seems to be this thing in my brain that attempts to override my logical thinking. And for some reason, I picture it looking like the Lamisil monster.
Does any part of my body function properly? Let's see:
- My brain doesn't
- I'm horribly nearsighted
- My ears are constantly clogged and popping (more than likely eustachian trouble)
- I have a deviated septum and nose trouble
- I have acid relux
- I grind my teeth
- I supposedly have a heart murmur (that remains to be seen- I was diagnosed with it by a cardiologist, but an ultrasound said I did not)
- I'm fucking constipated all the time and nothing helps
- I have unmentionable troubles with my bladder and prone to infections
- my uterus puts me through hell during that time of the month
- I have a crap back
I think that is it? Okay, so my kidneys, lungs, liveralone, gallbladder....am I missing anything?....all seem to function okay. Knock on wood. Seriously. But those few issues alone is enough to really bring me down. Looking at bad or no treatments for most of them, most of the time I feel like I should commit suicide. But then again, it doesn't take much to convince me to say the hell with it. It's sad how little value I place on my life. I hear these stories of these people who end up with these horrible infections that cause multiple amputations and they're all holly fucking jolly that oh no they lost all their limbs, but by golly they are still alive! A few months ago, I heard this story about this lady who literally lost half her fucking body due to an infection from giving birth and she was all ho ho ho I am still alive though. Not to be mean, but I just laugh at these people. Really? They are truly happy? Not me. I'd rather be fucking dead.
So many days I am just ready to throw in the towel. I'm not depressed right now, but I am just cranky and tired. I always have this feeling that if I were to ever commit suicide, I would probably be absolutely elated, probably at the full height of a manic episode.
We had a pretty hefty snowstorm last night. The news said we received like 9 inches of snow or something, but judging by what I (and my parents) spent 4 hours shoveling, it was more than a foot. And it was such a big old mess, I had no choice but to call out of work.
I was doing some research on slow transit constipation earlier, because apparently that is what I have been diagnosed with as of now, until maybe one of these days I can get a colonoscopy, where nothing will be found and I will just be slapped with the vague generic diagnosis of IBS, and a lot of people have had surgery for it. And I was absolutely horrified at some of the shit I was reading. I'd say on almost every webpage almost every person who has said surgery sang praises of it despite all of the complications and you know what? That is still not enough for me to ever consider it. I might be miserable now with a malfunctioning digestive system (my stomach produces too much acid, my intestines produce too little crap), but would I exchange that for whatever side effects and complications of a partial or total colectomy? No fucking thank you.
I am just beyond fed up with this. We all know I have serious self-image problems and when my stomach acts up, it shows up on the scale. This morning I was 2 or 3 pounds heavier than Saturday and I know damn well I have not eaten bad enough to gain that much weight. And despite knowing that when my stomach acts up, it affects my weight and more than likely is not true weight gain, I still freak out and panic that I gained actual weight. Which is what I am doing now. I am absolutely bugging out at what the scale said. I can't take this. And to make matter worse, I am becoming a slave to the scale. I am getting on about 2 times a day and even knowing that weight flucuates, the illogical part of my brain still causes me to flip out. Just like what I talked about here in the last paragraph. There seems to be this thing in my brain that attempts to override my logical thinking. And for some reason, I picture it looking like the Lamisil monster.
Does any part of my body function properly? Let's see:
- My brain doesn't
- I'm horribly nearsighted
- My ears are constantly clogged and popping (more than likely eustachian trouble)
- I have a deviated septum and nose trouble
- I have acid relux
- I grind my teeth
- I supposedly have a heart murmur (that remains to be seen- I was diagnosed with it by a cardiologist, but an ultrasound said I did not)
- I'm fucking constipated all the time and nothing helps
- I have unmentionable troubles with my bladder and prone to infections
- my uterus puts me through hell during that time of the month
- I have a crap back
I think that is it? Okay, so my kidneys, lungs, liveralone, gallbladder....am I missing anything?....all seem to function okay. Knock on wood. Seriously. But those few issues alone is enough to really bring me down. Looking at bad or no treatments for most of them, most of the time I feel like I should commit suicide. But then again, it doesn't take much to convince me to say the hell with it. It's sad how little value I place on my life. I hear these stories of these people who end up with these horrible infections that cause multiple amputations and they're all holly fucking jolly that oh no they lost all their limbs, but by golly they are still alive! A few months ago, I heard this story about this lady who literally lost half her fucking body due to an infection from giving birth and she was all ho ho ho I am still alive though. Not to be mean, but I just laugh at these people. Really? They are truly happy? Not me. I'd rather be fucking dead.
So many days I am just ready to throw in the towel. I'm not depressed right now, but I am just cranky and tired. I always have this feeling that if I were to ever commit suicide, I would probably be absolutely elated, probably at the full height of a manic episode.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Random Thoughts
Ugh, every time I think people couldn't possibly get more annoying, I get proven wrong.
Something went on with that girl from work today and she was in the boss lady's office for a very long time (leading me to be one cranky little bitch at not having any work to do). I don't know how her Facebook postings were brought up to the boss lady, but they were and....you know, I really have no idea what the hell went on because whenever anyone explained it to me, they whispered and I can't hear worth a shit, so I missed most of the stories. But anyway, I came home to find myself defriended on Facebook and all I could think was, really? She defriended me?
Okay, so everyone complained to the boss lady about her and while I did my fair share of bitching, I never complained to my boss about her. It takes a lot for me to bitch to a boss about something. In fact, I just did my first actual bitching yesterday. Other than that, I tried to stay out of it. I always try to stay out of office politics, but somehow, I always get drug into them. This happened at my last job. I got drug into the fued between the girl who trained me and our assistant manager (or whatever she was). And once again, here I am, drug into the middle of drama.
I only have one response to this whole, um, situation:
Something went on with that girl from work today and she was in the boss lady's office for a very long time (leading me to be one cranky little bitch at not having any work to do). I don't know how her Facebook postings were brought up to the boss lady, but they were and....you know, I really have no idea what the hell went on because whenever anyone explained it to me, they whispered and I can't hear worth a shit, so I missed most of the stories. But anyway, I came home to find myself defriended on Facebook and all I could think was, really? She defriended me?
Okay, so everyone complained to the boss lady about her and while I did my fair share of bitching, I never complained to my boss about her. It takes a lot for me to bitch to a boss about something. In fact, I just did my first actual bitching yesterday. Other than that, I tried to stay out of it. I always try to stay out of office politics, but somehow, I always get drug into them. This happened at my last job. I got drug into the fued between the girl who trained me and our assistant manager (or whatever she was). And once again, here I am, drug into the middle of drama.
I only have one response to this whole, um, situation:
Sunday, January 23, 2011
A Third Quote Of The Day
I swear, they just keep on coming today. TMZ member haha on MTV:
I don't know about the rest of you, but in addition to MTV, MTV2, MTV Jams (which plays jams all day long) and some Spanish MTV channel (which is basically like regular MTV, but with Spanish music and Spanish reality shows), we have MTV Hits as well, which does play music ALL OF THE TIME. HOWEVER....judging by whatever is on there whenever I turn it on (generally some variety of crunk or Katy Perry) , I'd rather MTV not play music ever again.
Yeah, once upon a time in the good ole days, MTV used to play music videos. One day, an interesting little show called The Real World was born. The Real World was just a snowflake before the avalanche.*sniffs* That was beautiful, man. Absolutely beautiful.Soon, MTV didn't play videos anymore and the children of the kingdom cried. "Don't worry," said MTV's mommy and daddy, "We're having a baby!" And they named her MTV2-where the music's at. And the children were happy.
Sadly, their joy would not last, for it wasn't very long before MTV-where the music's at started to look and act just like her big sister.
And all the poor music loving children of the land were left with was MTV-where the music was and MTV2-where the music used to be.
The End
I don't know about the rest of you, but in addition to MTV, MTV2, MTV Jams (which plays jams all day long) and some Spanish MTV channel (which is basically like regular MTV, but with Spanish music and Spanish reality shows), we have MTV Hits as well, which does play music ALL OF THE TIME. HOWEVER....judging by whatever is on there whenever I turn it on (generally some variety of crunk or Katy Perry) , I'd rather MTV not play music ever again.
Another Quote Of The Day
From this article:
I am not even going to discuss what immediately popped into my head at that last one.
Four sweaty naked men in a sleeping bag....*spaces out*
Anyway, and the one that almost made me lose it completely (I believe I laughed for, at the very minimum, 20 minutes straight) was this retweet on Joel McHale's Twitter page:
If I can feel the bass thumping from your car in my chest as you drop your kids off, I can only think this is not OK for your kids' ears. Particularly if said bass is accompanied by lyrics about bustin' caps, pimpin' hos and icin' whitey.I keep getting bad cases of the giggles today. These comments left in response to this cracked.com article still have me laughing my ass off:
I am not even going to discuss what immediately popped into my head at that last one.
Four sweaty naked men in a sleeping bag....*spaces out*
Anyway, and the one that almost made me lose it completely (I believe I laughed for, at the very minimum, 20 minutes straight) was this retweet on Joel McHale's Twitter page:
Quote Of The Day
One of my favorite lines, from one of my absolute favorite movies of all time, Clueless:
Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anybody would miss you.What a great line. Probably something I would say to a potential suitor of my child as well.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
(Another) Quote Of The Day
This was in the comments section of this article:
pardon the previous comment's grammer - I'm typing this while driving a small bus full of handicap children down an icy, twisting mountain road.
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