Random Thoughts

Merry early Christmas! It's currently 70 degrees right now in my neck of the woods. WTF?

Yesterday we had a cake in work for my birthday. Someone asked the MOB if she wanted a piece and she goes "no it looks too sweet" (it was vanilla cake with buttercream). And she said it a couple more times. And then starts saying how she doesn't like vanilla icing, blah blah blah. I just walked away when she started with that. I felt like saying to her "First off, last I checked, it's not your birthday. Second, we don't need to hear your opinion on everything. And last, do you have to be so fucking negative about everything?". Like just say no thank you and STFU.

I know I can be a miserable person but JFC, her negativity just sucks the life and fun out of everything. She's like a fucking Dementor. We had Christmas music on on Monday and she did nothing but nonstop bitch about it. Despite saying she doesn't care what is on, but that she can tune the music out. So then tune it out and STFU.

I always have to laugh how she looks down at music and top 40 radio (which I am guilty of myself but never mind that). Bitch, you're a fucking Linkin Park fan. Take several seats.

Random Thoughts

So now we're back to normal chilly weather (it's in the 40's right now) and come my birthday it's going to be in the 60's and about 70 on Christmas Eve. What is this weather? Kind of makes me nervous for when spring comes. I hope it doesn't mean an increase in severe weather.

My FWA is whining on Facebook because her brat is sick. Again. I swear, every person I know who has breastfed, their kids are constantly sick. What happened to "breast is best"? My nephew wasn't breastfed and I don't even recall ever seeing him really sick, if at all. I wasn't breastfed and I'm rarely, if ever, sick (not counting in the head). Minus the bout with the flu last year, but that was for the first time in a really, REALLY long time. And I got over it pretty damn quickly.

I thought maybe once Thanksgiving was over, our workload would die down some. But it hasn't. We have been so damn busy. I just did about 6 hours of overtime this past week and thanks to having off Monday, it's going to be all straight pay. Which sucks, but money is money I guess. It's just crazy, though. The doctors are working a lot, we're short-staffed (especially because this year it seems like everyone waited to use their PTO),  the medical records are huge, clients are sending in records like a day before the appointments because they no longer get penalized for it, etc.

I never understand that last one. Once upon a time, if clients sent records in so many days before an appointment, the records were automatically turned into an addendum report. Which was an extra charge. And the PTB stopped that. Which makes no sense, because that's extra money they could be making. And last I checked, isn't corporate all about the benjamins?

What Even

I loathe the cold weather thanks to being so damn cold all of the time, but 70 degree weather less than 2 weeks before Christmas? No. Just no.

And now it's back to drama-central after a 4 day weekend.

Random Thoughts

Boy, I don't know what is going on with me that I am not keeping up with stuff.

Somehow we made it through the week of Thanksgiving and got everything done. Of course the workload still hasn't died down and we're still getting slammed with a shit ton of work. It's never-ending! Like something needs to give. We need more people. Oh, our sister company thought they were being smart and laying the group of us off and taking on our jobs up there. And basically most of that work has come back to us. And to less people.

And I don't know if the workload is stressing me out more or the people there. Maybe I'm just too cranky, but my god, I have never met so many damn annoying stuck-up people in my life. It's like fucking middle school in that place. Everyone is sweet as sugar to each others faces, but the second they turn their back, they rip them apart. Am I guilty of it? Sure I am. But I don't pretend to be anyone's friend in that place. They're my coworkers. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe it's a piss poor attitude, but I've learned the hard way that it's better not to make friends with coworkers. Plus I see the way those assholes act like they're friends and then badmouth them behind their backs. Except if you're the almighty Monica or Ms. Hail to the V.

There are about a hundred more things I'd like to bitch about with that place, but I just can't even muster up the energy to do. However, I will make nitpick at my FWA. Every single damn time her brat is teething, she gets all dramatic on Facebook over it. You'd think the baby was going through chemotherapy with the way she acts. I don't doubt for one second it isn't painful as fuck (can't say I remember all the way back to when I was cutting teeth) but JFC it's a normal thing every child goes through.

And in the grand tradition of things, the stupid bitch was bitching to me all last week about this woman who started this past winter. According to my FWA, this woman does whatever she wants to do and is nosy and likes to cut into other people's business. Now I do like this woman; however, she is completely exhausting to talk to because she just never shuts up. She'll just ramble on and on and on and jump from one topic to the next and I get so lost listening to her that after a few minutes I just want to scream SHUT UP. One time she mentioned to the miserable old bitch and me that she used to work as an ultrasound tech and the MOB asked her why didn't work as one anymore and she started rambling on and 25 minutes later she was still going on and we still had no idea why she didn't work as one anymore.

But for my FWA to stand there and bitch about someone else doing whatever they want? She who comes in whenever she damn well feels like it, takes lunch whenever she damn well feels like it, takes breaks whenever she damn well feels like it. Get real, bitch. And then to stand there and complain about someone else butting their noses into conversations? She who is constantly sticking her nose into other people's conversations, who will take the long way through the middle work area back to her desk just so she can make sure she isn't missing out on a conversation that she can butt in to and make all about herself. My God, this bitch is delusional beyond words.

I have off on Friday and my sister is already pestering me about what are we doing. I would like to do something; however I don't really want to go out with my BIL. And even though I love him to death, I am getting to the point where I don't even want to go out with my nephew. Every single damn time I go out with them, he has to act up and be a nightmare. If I had even the slightest doubt about not having kids before, I can safely say I definitely do not want them now.

Random Thoughts

I picked a good day to take a PTO day. I don't have to listen to my FWA and the one who claims to tell it like it is talk about how they had ERMAGHERD SO MUCH FUN on Saturday night with Ms. Hail to the V and that cow Monica at some kind of bingo thingie. Nor will I have to hear about the one who claims to tell it like it is go on and on and on about her rat-faced daughter's cheer-leading competition over the weekend.

Unfortunately it's not turning out to be a very relaxing day. Because like in the grand tradition of this time of the year, we are slammed at work with enormous medical records. I am absolutely freaking out over it. And of course the bitchy at home work always manages to pick the best times to have off. I know she's off next week supposedly but I am not sure how many other days. Oh and the best part is apparently her sister, the other at home worker, is off some of the days as well (again, not sure how many). The day I found that out, I said straight to the new manager and my FWA "how in the hell did that happen?". And all I got in response from my FWA was "well 2 people are allowed to be off in one department" and the new manager said "come on, they're sisters and want to spend the holidays together". I felt like saying I really don't give a shit, I couldn't get 3 lousy days off at the same time as someone else who doesn't even do my job. Three lousy days so I could spend time with my elderly grandparents.

Y'all realize I am never going to let that whole situation go, right?

And then the other day I get an email from the new manager saying that she doesn't know if our former manager had me keep a worklog or not but she'd like for me to send her one every pay period (she did, by the way, but not long before she put her resignation in, she told me I no longer had to send her one). I nearly had a panic attack when I read the email. It's not the part of sending a worklog I am upset about; rather, it's when she looks at mine and the other girls and will probably ask why I am not putting out as much work as them. Because I really can't completely justify it, other than I worry too much about the quality of my work.

I try different ways of doing things but it's like no matter what I do, I still can't get through the work any quicker. I've tried looking at the other girls' work and all I end up doing is being shocked at how much they leave out. I try just skimming the important sections but I've had past experiences where important things have been hidden in sections we normally don't look at so I end up reading every frigging detail of the entire report. And then I always have to check my work for fear I made a mistake.

I also tend to way overthink my grammar. I don't mean just spelling. Things like the correct usage of the past tense, etc. Sometimes I swear if my former manager hadn't been the one to train me to do this job, I wouldn't overthink shit as much as I do.

Fuck You Apple

Two Christmases ago I received an iTunes gift card for $25. Since I was at a point where I refused to use iTunes due to their ridiculous rules and was strictly using Amazon, I tried everything to get rid of it. Unfortunately I had no luck so a few months ago, I finally (and begrudgingly) dug up my old iTunes account and redeemed the gift card under it. As of my last purchase in September I had $7.92 left on it.

Fast forward to the update to iOS 9. The update was successful and I went through the steps of setting everything up. Right then and there is probably where my problem began. It asked me for my Apple ID and password, so I entered it in. Then it asked me to enter my ID for iCloud, so I entered in my Apple ID and it wouldn't take. I tried a few more times and it still didn't take, so I figured I needed to have a separate ID for iCloud, so I entered in my Yahoo email address. Unfortunately after I entered it in, I realized I put the wrong email address so I couldn't verify it.

Fast forward to this past Friday. I decide I want to purchase a song through iTunes and it asks me for my password, I enter it in, and it tells me my Apple ID or password was entered incorrectly. So I pull out my paper that I have the password written down on and sure enough everything was entered correctly. I tried again- same thing. Tried a 3rd time- same thing. I hit the "Forgot?" link and am taken to iForgot page where I am asked to enter my Apple ID. I enter it in and it tells me that ID doesn't exist. So I am taken to a page where I have to enter in my name and email address and I do so and receive the email to reset my password and I do so and I am taken back to the page to enter in my Apple ID and password. And it still doesn't work. I try logging in with my email address (which is my Apple ID@ [email company].com) and password and that takes.

I reopen iTunes again and enter in my email address and password and that takes. However, there is no gift card balance listed. I find my gift card and enter it in the redemption code line and am told it's already been redeemed. Which means I can't even use it with this "new" account. The balance is lost with my original Apple ID account that for some aggravating reason, seemed to disappear into thin air. I don't know what happened to it, but it pisses me off to no end, especially at having to lose that $7.92.

And I attempted to create an account for the Yahoo email address I had entered in for iCloud with the hopes that I could get a verification code and then delete the iCloud account once I accessed it. Unfortunately the email address is already in use, so I couldn't even do that. And some poor soul received an email telling them to verify their iCloud account.

Random Thoughts

I switched back to strictly just Colace and I am half-tempted to take back what I said in that I'd rather be constipated than feel like I did. I do feel slightly better, but now I am bloated, the scale is back up and I can't go to the bathroom and I just want to scream. On the Peri-Colace/Miralax regimen, my stomach felt great but I felt like crap, off the regimen, I feel better but my stomach feels like crap. THERE IS NO GODDAMN WIN.

And for all I know, it may not have even been the regimen making me feel horrible. It could have just been a fluke thing. Hormone-related, etc. Even so, I still can't stay on the regimen forever. I've been hesitant to be on it as is. My intestines are lazy enough as is!

Yesterday was Apple Fest. It ended up being kind of a disappointing day. For one thing, it was insanely crowded. And a lot of the people that go are so damn snooty and rude. And I just have to laugh at the hordes of middle aged women dressed like teenagers. It's hysterical. There was one point I had a woman in front of me who was dressed in head to toe Love Pink shit, Ugg boots, and had teal streaks in her hair. I just looked at her and rolled my eyes, thinking oh typical teenage girl today, only to be surprised to find out she was a late middle-aged fake tanned to the gills woman when she turned around.

Actually no I wasn't really that surprised.

And then this bitch with one of those stupid double wide SUV strollers was next to me and on each side of the monstrosity were tags that said "Please wash your hands before you touch mine". Really? Are you kidding me? These people with their obsessions of kids being exposed to germs need to sit down. How are your brats ever going to develop an immune system if they're never exposed to germs? Sometimes I wonder if this is why there are so many kids with freak allergies and shit nowadays. Back when I was in school, I hardly knew anyone, if at all, that had food allergies, let alone severe ones. Nowadays you have kids you can't even say the word "peanut" to without them going into anaphylactic shock.

Random Thoughts

Sometime after my last post, I was in work one day and received an email from my new manager to check if medical records had been reviewed in a summary I had done. Apparently the client had sent medical records and there was no hide or hair of them in my summary. So I looked over the medical records and compared to them to what I had typed and sure enough they weren't summarized. And do you know why they weren't summarized? Because they weren't part of the records. Because they were never collated. Because they were never printed out. And who had the job of printing out the medical records for that patient? None other than my FWA.

This is exactly why I want to punch every person who tells me that I need to ignore it all and just go in and do my job. Every time I bitch about how my coworkers take a million breaks or sit around and talk or not do anything at all, I get the same song and dance, that the best thing I can do is to just ignore it and just go in and do my job. Which makes sense to a degree, but it starts to get a little hard to just ignore and just do my job if I have to constantly clean up the person's incompetence. I swear, I am getting so sick and tired of having to fix my FWA's measurements of charts. Apparently her concept of any type of measurement- be it time, inches, etc- is fucked up. I constantly come across charts that she printed out and has down as 0.25 inches that are so clearly 0.5 inches (or more) even Stevie Wonder could see it.

I have really not been feeling well the past week or so. I'm tired. I'm cranky as shit. I'm cold as hell. I feel out of breath. I feel like my heart and pulse are racing- earlier I looked in the mirror and could see my pulse pounding out of my neck. Often when I stand up, my vision darkens and I feel like I am going to pass out. I'm nauseous. My legs burn and are twitchy and feel weak. Three times I have taken my blood pressure since Friday and it averaged about 93/60. And I am starting to worry that this Peri-Colace/Miralax regimen is behind why I am not feeling well. Surely having diarrhea often cannot be good for the body. I think I'd rather be constipated than feel like this.

Earlier in work, I was collating a chart and came across a surgical admission sheet from back in February. And right after it was a death certificate. Apparently the person went in for elbow surgery, arrested, and died sometime not long after. I've felt so horrible since I read it. Sure the person had a shit ton of health problems, including cardiovascular ones, but still. You're cleared by your doctor to undergo a fairly benign procedure and you fucking die?

Man, I miss the Treehouse of Horror marathon that was on last week. I was on that like ugly on an ape. Kind of sad that Halloween is over already, especially because now will come the full blown Christmas assault. 

Random Thoughts

My period was expected to come yesterday but still nothing. Except major crankiness, depression, and cravings for all things sweet and salty. I wish it would come soon.

My tooth is still bothering me every time I chew food on it. And it is sensitive to cold stuff. As far as I understood, a root canaled tooth should not feel any sensitivity so either something was not done correctly or it's another tooth. And unfortunately it's hard to distinguish. Words can not begin to describe how enraged I will be if I have to eventually end up having this tooth pulled.

Also, a molar on the top right is hurting when I chew on it and feeling sensitive. GRRRR.

A while back I upped my Prozac dosage to 5 days a week and it seemed like it was helping some, but now it seems to once again be crapping out on me. I give up with this. I really do. I think I am just not meant to ever be happy.

And it may just be because I am PMS-ing hard, but I really loathe work right now. I swear, I don't understand how so many deluded lazy people can be in one place. Even after getting lectured by Ms. Croquette and having a new a manager, my FWA still continues to come in late. She still continues to take a lunch longer than an hour. And comes back close to 2:30, despite us getting an email that lunches can end no later than 2. Oh and the best part is she comes back after an hour and eats lunch at her desk. WHAT THE FUCK does she do the entire hour she is gone?!

And on Friday, Ms. Hail to the V was in the office and if she wasn't off talking or playing on her phone, she spent pretty much her whole 7 hour shift planning a trip to NYC on the internet. Nice, huh? I also have to laugh how when she works a long day, she is given two 45 minute PAID breaks. Most of the time she is done with patients by 11:15AM and takes her first break and then comes back and goes right to lunch. I don't understand why she needs to be given 2 long paid breaks like that. Yes, I understand it's a long day but her job as an MA is not that fucking taxing (she doesn't even actually take care of people) that she can't still work during the break in patients. I hope to God she never plans on working in an actual health profession where people have to work 12 hour shifts because she wouldn't last a day not being able to get her paid breaks like that.

It's going down to about 29 degrees tonight. I am absolutely not ready for the cold!

Random Thoughts

I'm still alive. Nothing new.

My tooth still hurts when I chew on it. It doesn't linger like before I had the root canal, but it still gets a rather sharp pain when I bite down on food. I'm so damn frustrated with everything that I am ready to yank the damn tooth out. And every time I think of my dental insurance trying to fight paying for treatment I want to chew nails.

Work is the same old shit. For 45 minutes today, from the start of our shift, I was the only one working while everyone stood around talking. Even the new manager.

I have PMS. My heart won't stop racing. I feel like I have an elephant sitting on my chest. I was on my bike earlier and I got extremely out of breath. I never get out of breath like that. But for some reason before my period, I always get this heavy feeling in my chest and feel like I have a hard time taking a deep breath. And I do get heart palpitations and my heart rhythm feels wiggity wack, but nothing like this. And I don't even want to bother going to the doctors because I am just going to hear the same old song and dance.

I swear, once you get that scarlet letter A- aka anxiety- no doctor ever takes you seriously.