Alkazar: Well, this is the real me. But I can explain: We all have needs. Mine was to make it with five weirdos and have them scrub my five castles. I gave you all what you wanted and of course I made a few bucks letting Pig watch through the two-way mirror. Can any of you say you wouldn't have done the exact same thing in my position?
Bender: (sniffling) He's a saint!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From "A Bicyclops Built For Two":
Friday, March 12, 2010
What The Hell?
Two and a half years ago, when I was at one of my lowest points, I posted on a message board. And a little while after doing so, I was contacted privately through email by an Australian guy named Sam. He was one of the few people at the time who just got it. He pretty much understood how I was feeling and he listened to whatever crazy shit came out of my head without running in the other direction, like so many others were doing at the time.
The last time I heard from him was August or September of this year. Since then, I have repeatedly tried to contact him and have not received a response. I decided to send him an email today and it came back undeliverable. The email addresses are invalid.
I can't say that I was ever in love with this man. I did not really know him personally. However, I felt such a connection with him that I always felt like if he just spontaneously asked me to marry him, I would say yes. After making sure he was legit, of course.
There are several scenarios that could be playing here:
1. I know he moved somewhere and doesn't get access to the internet often, but that would not explain the bouncing back of my email to him this time around
2. I finally said something to piss him off, even though he assured me plenty of time that it would take a lot to crack him
3. he is actually a giant creep and was arrested or something
There is one other scenario I dread to even mention. He passed on. I know he wasn't well, but how will I ever know? I checked Australian obituaries, but nothing came up for him and unfortunately, I don't know anyone else to contact. He has a friend, but he is in a nursing home and doesn't have any contact. I checked his blog, but that hasn't been updated since 2008. I checked a blog linked to his, but there was nothing written about him. I even searched for his transgender page (he was formerly female and despite that, I would have still married him), but the domain no longer exists. It is bugging the shit out of me. I need to know what happened, but if I find out he died, I am going to be devastated.
The last time I heard from him was August or September of this year. Since then, I have repeatedly tried to contact him and have not received a response. I decided to send him an email today and it came back undeliverable. The email addresses are invalid.
I can't say that I was ever in love with this man. I did not really know him personally. However, I felt such a connection with him that I always felt like if he just spontaneously asked me to marry him, I would say yes. After making sure he was legit, of course.
There are several scenarios that could be playing here:
1. I know he moved somewhere and doesn't get access to the internet often, but that would not explain the bouncing back of my email to him this time around
2. I finally said something to piss him off, even though he assured me plenty of time that it would take a lot to crack him
3. he is actually a giant creep and was arrested or something
There is one other scenario I dread to even mention. He passed on. I know he wasn't well, but how will I ever know? I checked Australian obituaries, but nothing came up for him and unfortunately, I don't know anyone else to contact. He has a friend, but he is in a nursing home and doesn't have any contact. I checked his blog, but that hasn't been updated since 2008. I checked a blog linked to his, but there was nothing written about him. I even searched for his transgender page (he was formerly female and despite that, I would have still married him), but the domain no longer exists. It is bugging the shit out of me. I need to know what happened, but if I find out he died, I am going to be devastated.
Lyrics Of The Day
"So Long And Thanks For All The Fish" from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy:
So long and thanks for all the fish
So sad that it should come to this
We tried to warn you all but oh dear
You may not share our intellect
Which might explain your disrespect
For all the natural wonders that grow around you
So long so long and thanks for all the fish
The world's about to be destroyed
There's no point getting all annoyed
Lie back and let the planet dissolve around you
Despite those nets of tuna fleetes
We thought most of you were sweet
Especially tiny tots and your pregnant women
So long so long, so long so long, so long so long, so long so long
So long so long, so long so long, so long so long, so long so long
So long so long and thanks for all the fish
If I had just one last wish
I would like a tasy fish
If we could just change one thing
We would all have learnt to sing
Come one and all
Man and mammal
Side by side
In life's great gene pool
So long so long, so long so long, so long so long, so long so long
So long so long, so long so long, so long so long, so long so long
So long so long and thanks for all the fish
The Webpage Of The Day
Cue the heavenly music! The Goddess herself has released a blog!
Notes From The Road Miss Lady Kier
This is going right in to my Blogs I Like To Stalk section.
You all do realize my worship of her on here is grossly overexaggerated, right? I certainly think she is the coolest person on earth, but it's not like I am out hunting down where she lives or leaving dead rats in her mailbox or anything. Give me some credit here! I am not that insane.
HOWEVER....if she were to appoint me her official stalker, I would gladly accept. You shan't be disappointed! *whistles "Every Breath You Take" while cleaning off binoculars*
Speaking of which, I am reading Good Times, Bad Boys and there was a part where the main character mentions her ex is watching Futurama and several pages later, she wakes up and puts Vh-1 on and mentions that there is a one hit wonder special on and all I could think is if I go to the next page and there is mention of "Groove Is In The Heart", this book is automatically getting 4 stars just for referencing two of my favorite things in the world. Not that "Groove" is even my favorite song, but it's still a Deee-Lite reference, ain't it? And sure enough, it was.
Notes From The Road Miss Lady Kier
This is going right in to my Blogs I Like To Stalk section.
You all do realize my worship of her on here is grossly overexaggerated, right? I certainly think she is the coolest person on earth, but it's not like I am out hunting down where she lives or leaving dead rats in her mailbox or anything. Give me some credit here! I am not that insane.
HOWEVER....if she were to appoint me her official stalker, I would gladly accept. You shan't be disappointed! *whistles "Every Breath You Take" while cleaning off binoculars*
Speaking of which, I am reading Good Times, Bad Boys and there was a part where the main character mentions her ex is watching Futurama and several pages later, she wakes up and puts Vh-1 on and mentions that there is a one hit wonder special on and all I could think is if I go to the next page and there is mention of "Groove Is In The Heart", this book is automatically getting 4 stars just for referencing two of my favorite things in the world. Not that "Groove" is even my favorite song, but it's still a Deee-Lite reference, ain't it? And sure enough, it was.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
An Angry Letter To Edys Ice Cream
Dear Edys:
WHY? Why do you have to discontinue the Loaded line? It's the best!
Sincerely,
A disappointed customer
WHY? Why do you have to discontinue the Loaded line? It's the best!
Sincerely,
A disappointed customer
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From STFU, Parents user Frances Bean, in response to today's STFU:
These kids must be annoying as hell, or the mother's let them run wild, because most old people love little kids. Something about not having teeth and incontinence usually brings them together in harmony.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Bitch, Please! Of The Day
Lindsay Lohan's Delusions Know No Bounds
Shit like this is exactly why I never fail to laugh at the joke "what do you call a thousand (depending on who tells it) lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start".
Yes, Lindsay, I contacted E-Trade's marketing department and their whole world revolves around you and they spend every freaking day from morning until night trying to come up with ways to make fun of you.
I wonder why God felt that when he had to take one celebrity, he chose to take Brittany Murphy instead of this annoying little disgusting cunt. Seriously, Lindsay. Just fucking overdose already. Or better yet, do a murder-suicide- kill your parents and then yourself.
This made me think of a Kirsten Dunst movie where her character reminded me of me. Come to think of it- her character had the same first name as me! Boy, I guess the writer of the movie was trying to make a mockery of my life. Gah! How dare them!
*flips open Yellow Pages to Lawyer section* Time to sue!
Shit like this is exactly why I never fail to laugh at the joke "what do you call a thousand (depending on who tells it) lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start".
Yes, Lindsay, I contacted E-Trade's marketing department and their whole world revolves around you and they spend every freaking day from morning until night trying to come up with ways to make fun of you.
I wonder why God felt that when he had to take one celebrity, he chose to take Brittany Murphy instead of this annoying little disgusting cunt. Seriously, Lindsay. Just fucking overdose already. Or better yet, do a murder-suicide- kill your parents and then yourself.
This made me think of a Kirsten Dunst movie where her character reminded me of me. Come to think of it- her character had the same first name as me! Boy, I guess the writer of the movie was trying to make a mockery of my life. Gah! How dare them!
*flips open Yellow Pages to Lawyer section* Time to sue!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Bitch, Please Of The Day!
But Where Was The Award For Mimi's Stache?
Good God.
Dear Mariah:
Please stop insisting on forcing us on your fat ass. We have some friends in the plus size section- we highly recommend you make friends with them and kindly pass us on to other people.
Also- you are no longer 20. Grow the hell up already.
Sincerely,
Your wardrobe
Good God.
Dear Mariah:
Please stop insisting on forcing us on your fat ass. We have some friends in the plus size section- we highly recommend you make friends with them and kindly pass us on to other people.
Also- you are no longer 20. Grow the hell up already.
Sincerely,
Your wardrobe
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